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Dating Problems: 6/6/2020 05:32:22

Mike Oxmol
Level 34
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I am a professional relationships therapist and I have seen many people with problems going on in their relationships. This thread is for people that are struggling as such and have no other way of venting off their emotions.
Dating Problems: 6/6/2020 05:42:39

Mike Oxmol
Level 34
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Well you see the trick is to get the girl to love the inside of you, the soul and the mind, and not the external view. A great man once said, "Don't judge a book by its cover."
Dating Problems: 6/6/2020 05:45:48

Mike Oxmol
Level 34
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That is where you find the problem. If you are dating someone for the pleasure then maybe think again about the relationship, and think about the end goals.
Dating Problems: 6/6/2020 06:55:22


Skaarfungandr the Mighty
Level 58
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A lot of guys I knew would mope about being single. In my personal experience, they tend to be focused on having a relationship or are are infatuated, but don't make any effort to improve themselves. I.e. they might like someone else, but don't give the other person a real reason to reciprocate. I'd be curious whether this is due to small sample size o.o

Do you see a lot of people who approach relationships in such a one-sided manner?
Dating Problems: 6/6/2020 07:04:35

Mike Oxmol
Level 34
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That is a very popular opinion that most men do have and I would probably say that about 75% of people do approach their relationships in that way. For some people it is due to their ... size but for others it is just the way that they are brought up.
Dating Problems: 6/6/2020 08:24:20


berdan131
Level 59
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Are women capable of unconditional love?
Dating Problems: 6/6/2020 15:19:04

𝘝𝘌𝘙𝘕𝘈𝘓 𝘝𝘐𝘕𝘈𝘐𝘎𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘛𝘌
Level 38
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Dating Problems: 6/6/2020 15:30:28


Timinator • apex 
Level 65
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i hope you can help master of desaster to finally find his e-girlfriend.
Dating Problems: 6/6/2020 18:07:13


Farah♦ 
Level 61
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Can you get Koopa Troopa to marry me?
Dating Problems: 6/6/2020 23:05:14


Viking1007 
Level 59
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If so, invite me to the wedding and reception!

Edited 6/6/2020 23:06:02
Dating Problems: 6/6/2020 23:15:33


Aura Guardian 
Level 62
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Can you get Farah to marry me?
Dating Problems: 6/6/2020 23:24:29


OvertForeigner
Level 56
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If so, invite me to the wedding and reception!
Dating Problems: 6/7/2020 03:48:41

Mike Oxmol
Level 34
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Sorry that I was offline for so long,
Women are capable of unconditional love, it is only being a great man that shows it in them though.
And for all the others I could try to help just get them to send me a dm, or you can privately try to work this out with me.
Dating Problems: 6/8/2020 06:04:26


Skaarfungandr the Mighty
Level 58
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Sorry, I've probably been more AFK than Mike. :P

"That is a very popular opinion that most men do have and I would probably say that about 75% of people do approach their relationships in that way. For some people it is due to their ... size but for others it is just the way that they are brought up."

75% of the people? Hot damn. I asked my questions based on people I used to know, in danger of becoming incels. I didn't think it could cover so many people. o_o



Do you think relationships between (2) strong personalities work out in the long run? I would assume strong personalities will probably be less tolerant/more upfront about problems, so they would find problems faster than the milder people. Rather than inherently having "more" problems?

My assumption is that doomed relationships between strong willed people would just explode, rather than slowly fizzle, making the rate faster but I have no clue about the quality.

Edited 6/8/2020 06:06:52
Dating Problems: 6/9/2020 08:40:19

Mike Oxmol
Level 34
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That is a very good observation, however I believe that it depends on the upbringing of the people. People that have been brought up in kindhearted families, that support each other, will usually find the best was to end the relationship, but there are a lot of relationships between 2 strong personalities that have worked out absolutely fine and they may find the problems in their partner, but they work together to become closer togther.
Dating Problems: 6/9/2020 16:11:09


byshep
Level 21
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Mike Oxhuge never complained about dating problems. Maybe you should ask him what he's doing differently.
Dating Problems: 6/9/2020 22:44:13

Mike Oxmol
Level 34
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Damn bro you put me in a spot here. You see the thing about being a relationships therapist is that you get to know all the little tricks to making a relationship work. However when I was in high school, I was the last person you would go to for relationship problems. But that was a different me and I now know how to handle most problems pretty well.
Dating Problems: 6/10/2020 19:43:04


Skaarfungandr the Mighty
Level 58
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Interesting. :D

I've heard that some couples break up after a long camping trip or something similar. My theory is that stressful events reveal parts of a person's thought processes/priorities that they might be trained to hide. (Maybe the more core aspects?)

^ Are stress events like this commonly used to evaluate how a relationship might work in the long run? If a relationship seems fine, do you ever prescribe stressful activities on purpose to test how couples react to bad situations? (and if so, when?)

(I ask because I sometimes like studying how people behave, for fun. I'm eternally alone, so this isn't based on anything that happened in my life, don't worry. :P )

I guess a side question someone's bound to ask is: How/why did you end up as a relationship therapist? o.o
Dating Problems: 6/12/2020 10:39:34

Mike Oxmol
Level 34
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Stressful events are usually what tests a relationships boundaries, to see if it is long term or not. If it will be long term, the couple will work together to sort out the problems, but others would find having a relationship at that time too difficult, resulting in a breakup.

I became a relationship therapist because I also enjoyed studying other people's behavior and learning how to have a better relationship with my wife and three kids.
Dating Problems: 6/25/2020 23:40:55


Skapis9999
Level 60
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I have a problem.

A girl invited me to her home to "study" (She lives alone)

My problem is... that we studied...
Dating Problems: 6/26/2020 07:17:24


Shredtail2 
Level 57
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Yes, that happens. I spent a few nights at one of my friend's homes last semester, who is a girl, studying for exams together, and only actually studying, with nothing else implied.

Anyway, about my own dating life, I've been in a weird spot with this one (different) girl. I had a massive crush on her over most of the last academic year, finally asked her out in February, had our first date, then coronavirus resulted in everything being locked down immediately after. She went back home to her home city, and I stayed in the university town. I hadn't seen her since that first date, even though we keep in touch every so often. I'm still kicking myself, because due to my wacko sleep schedule at the time, I slept through a phone call from her one time saying she was on her way to the town to take care of some business. By the time I woke up, she was already on her way out. You can only imagine how I felt.

Edited 6/26/2020 07:18:22
Dating Problems: 7/18/2020 03:52:27

Nate
Level 22
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Hello!

I'm an Amish man, so "dating" hasn't been much of concern for me lately. . . or EVER!

Hee Haw!

Hope this helps!

Meaford
~A son and Child of God~
Dating Problems: 7/18/2020 04:12:40


berdan131
Level 59
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Look, here's a great and successful coach

https://youtu.be/vqORJHyNWJc
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