RULES
Say a superpower, and the next person to respond can choose a side effect. If you respond to your own comment it is added to the next person’s side effect

I’ll go first

Invisibility

Blindness; if you're invisible, your eyes can't intercept and capture light, so sight won't function (https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/the-problem-with-invisibility-is-the-blindness).

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Being able to study while sleeping (stolen from /r/godtiersuperpowers)

But once you start studying you can’t ever stop

The ability to speak any language I want at any time

However you always speak with a Russian accent

The ability to travel in time

You can only travel one direction.

Ability to teleport.

You have no control over where you teleport to and are most likely going to freeze and die in the void of space.

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You can walk through walls.

But it happens involuntarily whenever you talk with women; You fall through the floor.

Power to revive the dead

At the cost of your own life.

Power to see through clothes

But breasts and privates are blurred, excluding men.

Power to eat anything imaginable

But it stays in your body forever and you don't need (and can't) go to the toilet, you only get fatter and fatter with every thing you eat

Flying

Edited 10/22/2020 21:14:14

You can never descend.

Mind control

But only at 2:37:10 in the morning

The ability to control the speed of anything

Time moves faster or slower for whatever you control the speed of, to compensate. Net change is unnoticeable.

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Perfect gaydar

But as you read others' sexuality, you become the same sexuality

Ability to excel in every form of art more than anyone ever before

Edited 10/22/2020 23:09:26

No one appreciates it

Able to summon tacos at will

But they go straight into your left ear

The ability to make anything disappear

But they reappear after 3 seconds

The ability to respond to my own comment

Except you can't choose a superpower

Telekinesis

You get a nosebleed whenever you use your power, and you die of blood loss after 3 seconds

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Love Sausage (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eu-YPClimZE)

Things will reappear in your stomach (EDIT: I was responding to @Liechtensteiner)

Predicting with 100% accuracy your opponent's moves for the next turn

Edited 10/23/2020 00:29:16