But then you must recover in bed for an entire day since it is so exhausting

The ability to not age

You are all that exists after the heat death of the universe, cold dark and alone for all of eternity

Ability to open the microwave right before it beeps

But your food resets to its original temperature

Ability to phase water through all states of matter effortlessly

but you are allergic to water

ability to download wikipedia into my brain and access any knowledge within it instantaneously

But as soon as you download Wikipedia, you can no longer use your brain; the only thing you can do is use the knowledge. Your body will just be an empty shell.
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Airbending

But only against yourself

The ability to charge your phone without a phone charger

It’s on those old school first generation cell phones the size of a brick

The ability to always have green lights and no traffic when driving

But you have to listen to The Soviet National Anthem in full volume

The ability to know what the next person will say

but they will always be interrupted by someone else

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the ability to finish homework on time

You still manage to get an F

Ability for the next person’s post to be skipped

but

But you have to listen to The Soviet National Anthem in full volume

you mean most people don't already do this?

but your comment was skipped too

ability to make a meatball materialize in anyone's pocket

Edited 10/27/2020 20:06:46

But it's made from the persons random body part

The Ability to drop nuclear weapons on any location in the universe

but you shit yourself every time

You gain a stand

but you have two peg legs

immunity to every disease

Edited 10/27/2020 20:09:59

But you are allergic to everything else

Ability to become whoever I want whenever I want

Everyone hates you until you return to your original form
Shapeshifting

you can never shapeshift into something larger than half your current form

ability to control precipitation

But only on the complete opposite side of the world from you

The ability to change what something tastes like to what I want to taste at the time

But it stinks like rotten eggs if you change the taste

Ability to control other people’s memories