You ruin everyones lives and get outlawed as a criminal.

Ability of stopping this thread.

Which gets foiled by this comment.
Mind control of anyone you choose.

“... anyone you choose” meaning I get to choose who you mind control. I choose that you mind control yourself

Never running out of soap and shampoo

You don't have one in the first place.

The world ends.

Along with you.
Dual-wielding effectively in combat

But you accidentally brought chicken drumsticks to use as your weapon

Make my cat do the laundry

but the cat sheds its hair all over your laundry in the process

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you have the power to know all things

But you forget them every time you need to knowledge. Also, you lose your left eye

I give everyone all of the superpowers on this list with no side effects including myself

But as the list is outdated, you can't fulfill the superpower
Laser weapons

That runs on batteries, and you ran out of batteries.

The ability to have limitless eco-friendly electriciy

It's basically EA.

Being the richest person in the world without negative effects.

You are rich in only knowledge of dirt around the world and not in other things

I can turn garbage into food magically

But only at 2:37:10 in the morning (I've always wanted to say that.)
Perfect accuracy in any one school subject that the user chooses.

You fail every test cause you got caught for cheating




Ability to come up with a superpower that doesnt have any downsides or side effects

You can't use the new superpower because you used your shot at getting it to coming up with a superpower that you can't use because you've already used up your one chance to do so.

(Pardon me if this sucks, but...) Summoning a loyal Gyarados to real life.

It's the Netflix adaptation of a Gyarados

Ability to watch/play any digital entertainment for free.

You get arrested for piracy.

Ability to get a snack at 5 AM without being caught

you are half man half refrigerator. the snacks are your lifeblood

ability to stave off sleep forever

You still get tired

Ability to divide any country into new administrative divisions that will benefit nobody and make a lot of people mad

They were not passed by congress.

Forcing everyone to watch bass boosted music while I listen to lo-fi hip hop music at the normal volume without consequences.