But it can only be done in your dreams

The ability to not have any side effects

Side effect: This ability only applies to the forum, and therefore it is not a superpower.
Having another personality

Your other personality is a psychotic maniacal murderer and will take over your body at unexpected times.

The ability to teleport into and out of books and TV when I want.

Teleporting into those things means that you physically enter the objects

Making my windows made of water but they still act like windows

...but you forget it and fall out the window on a regular basis

Ability to make perfect toast

But it reverts back to normal bread after 10 seconds.

I can learn anything, instantly.

But for every bit of knowledge you take in you forget 3 bits you already knew

Power to eat like 90 waffles in one sitting

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The one sitting is for the rest of your life.

The ability to manipulate electromagnetic energy.

But only in ways that cause you harm

The ability to change the city that major world landmarks are in

...but it makes pigeons uncomfortably attracted to you

The ability to pronounce Liech's name

To only find out that it's extremely simple to pronounce.

The ability to be an all powerful diety holding more power than God.

But since God doesn't exist, you have no power
Actually choosing a side effect willingly

But choose a power, you cannot

The Force

Is not with you

The ability to not get booted

You get booted in the butt 144 times a day, but none in games

Mastering all the martial arts (like Karate, Taekwondo, Aikido, etc.)

You get in a bad car crash right after and are wheelchair bound

Potato laser fingers

Your power doesn't do shit.

The ability to have all my dreams fulfilled.

...including your nightmares.

The ability to make a toaster actually make toast on the first try

And only that time. Everything else is overcooked.
Controlling electromagnetism

But only in ways that cause you harm
The ability to not need sleep