Lots of folk think country first; so I'll try in a little exercise here.
I have the fortunate circumstance in this situation of being in a state with a small nationalistic side, in a country owning it, that seceded from another country. So I get to choose from four countries.
Pros and cons of the countries:
Pros: • Don't need to vote; already done for I • Always a chance to loot when a black is shot • God Emperor Trump Cons: • Democrats • Republicans • Washington DC
Pros: • Good authentic Mexican food • Good music • Gets to be irredentist over land it owned for only twenty years
Cons: • Coups • A drug war kept up by the US • Irradiated poisonous water
Pros: • Can cook using sidewalk • Don't have to ever explain why you're not marrying • Scarface putting it down for Houston Cons: • All exes live in Texas • Can cook on sidewalk • Unnatural borders
CSA: Pros: • Get to be drunk 90% of time • Get to honestly think you're a knight • No yardwork (if rich) Cons: • You're a serf (if poor) • Race riots a constant danger to both blacks and whites • Economy in ruins
Well I've decided on Texas
Here's my speech for my campaign as president:
"Listen folks, we have a serious problem. It's a big problem, and we need it solved. Who's gonna solve it? Well I thought, yeah, I could solve it. What's the problem? Border security. So how do we solve it? Moats! We're going to expand to the Rio Grande and Arkansas, and we're gonna have the Russians bankroll us doing it! We're gonna build a moat between the Arkansas and Rio Grande, and have America pay for it too! We're going to join an allaince with Russia and China, and get them to give us military equipment and aid, so we can fight the US in wars. They'll be none the wiser that we're not actually being threatened and actively provoking conflict with the US, and they'll sanction America if they resist. Vote I, 2016!"
Yeah, I heard there's a link between Texans' brains as to why you wouldn't dare try to explain why you won't marry your boyfriend.
Well yeah, the joke was that gay marriage would be illegal so you wouldn't have to deflect when asked to marry. I suppose that you'd have had to assume that the couple in question was homosexual though.
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