(don’t post twice in a row)

Edited 1/11/2021 00:02:29

Live every day like you’re going to die tomorrow via a drive-by crossbowing at 8:39 AM while riding a unicycle.

Just do it

He who stands on toilet is high on pot

Yes

He who takes laxatives and sleeping pills at the same time will wake up in deep shit

He who pees into the wind

Walks home in the rain he does

He who is drinking toothpaste while utilizing the phone is on drugs

You will have $5 in your hand sometime before you die

You will lose everything before winning 4 lotteries in a row

You will die for doing drugs before you do drugs

You will get arrested for a crime before you think about committing one

You will wet your bed at 4am on a Tuesday

You will shįt on your wife at 8am

You will sleep in the goosehouse tomorrow

You will accidentally wear a shirt that says “it’s Friday” on a Thursday

Вы выучите еще 6 языков, один из которых - русский.

(lol)

you will walk into a room, forget why you entered, exit, remember why you entered, walk back in again, forget again, and exit again

You will be struck by a falling piano unless you pause by homeless man asking for money

You will have a nice sleep

impossible

you will die rich but alone

You will eat a live fish yesterday

He who blacklists for racism will have their race blacklisted

Draw another fortune cookie, this one doesn't count

Fortune cookies must be drawn with a pencil in order to be able to count to higher than 4

You will be sent to the gulag for revolting against the bourgeoisie

This is a blank fortune cookie, turn it around to find the real fortune cookie

You will visit Verkhoyansk

You will encounter your future best friend in your dreams tonight.

We only eat what we oooojhujbyhggbvgjbgjgu