What can you tell yourself when you want to help someone, but you know that it will drag you down? I severely want to help this one person, but I know that it will make me expend a lot of energy. Meanwhile, I'm not in the best position to be concerned with others when I'm pretty busy with my own life. When does the benefit exceed the cost, or when does the cost exceed the benefit? There is always the chance that the cost is pretty low, which is to say, that it's up to chance. I have no clue what the cost will be, or if there will be a cost at all. But speaking from experience with certain people, there will always be a conflict when trying to help someone you really don't personally know.

What is your take on this?

Did they ask for help?
If no, Don't help
If yes continue

Is there a chance you will get laid, or are they family members or friend?
If no, Dont' help
If yes continue

Does that person bring you issues whenever you interact with said person?
If yes, Don't help
If no, continue

You make up your mind

Thank you Thanos, very cool

I say first offer help, whenever you can help offer it, then base what you do next on the person's response and what you can tell about the person. Unless your help is unneeded or unwanted, give it. That's what many religions tell, though it's often ignored.

you've been mandela'd OP

it's spelled dilemma

you were clearly part of the alternate universe which spelled dilemma dilemna but you crossed over into this batshit crazy world where we spell shit like it's pronounced sometimes

fuck.

if you are not well right now, or you are not where you want to be, or you are not as happy as you would like to be, dont help. i had a friend for 2 years who would only ring me up to complain, i had just broken up with my girlfriend and he called me to complain again about a number of issues and i just blocked him, i couldnt take his shit, especially when i wasnt well myself. i only ever put up with him because i knew people didnt like him and i didnt want him to be alone (he has autism or something, not confirmed but general consensus is that he is definitely on the spectrum). if you are happy yourself i would say go ahead and help, if not, focus on yourself

You don't have to burn yourself down to keep others warm.

https://imgur.com/gallery/yjcE4mk