But you can only scream it nonstop.

The ability to breathe underwater.

PS: I could easily win my crush back if I could control animals.

But you drown when you breath air.

To be able to find anything if I think about it, i.e., losing car keys.

But it only works on Feb 29 in years ending with 00

To get laid with hot women (with pussies) any time I want

But you never want to.

I choose to be the world's most lethal hitman.

But you are controlled by Hydra.

I choose to be the worlds second most badass person.

Edited 4/22/2017 06:35:06

But everyone only gives a shit about the First and Third Badasses.

Telepathy.

But you can only project madly sexual thoughts at middle-aged men.

Flying.

But you are visible to radars and they will shoot you down coz you don't have a transponder.

To not have to eat / drink / breathe to stay alive.

Because you're already dead

To have control of all of your bases (are belong to us)

But you don't actually have any bases to control.

To have the ability to control probability (i.e. I can increase the odds of me winning the lottery to 100% if I so choose).

But have to sing one of Collegehumor's 32 rejected songs while doing it

The ability to replave the word Nicholas Cage with Nicholas Cage

but you can't write

Having the ability of 1 punching everything.

But you also have this power in your penis.

The Ability to create any ladder you want (as in WL ladders)

But it has to be on a lottery template.

The power of all-knowingness.

You would be disgusted,very disgusted.

To be Emperor of the Byzantine empire at its greatest extent.http://www.whatson-northcyprus.com/images/history/byzantine_map.png

Edited 4/22/2017 23:29:42

But the damn cumcumbers gon' invade soon

To be blue

Prussia

But you keep getting rhythm every time you get blue, so you can't stay blue no matter how hard you try.

To be the most powerful drug lord in history.

But the drug is alcohol

To summon prostitutes that are hot, consenting and I can have sex with

But only for 15 seconds at a time (that's probably more than enough though).

Super strength.