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The Belgium Movie Script: 11/28/2016 23:38:30

Tchaikovsky Reborn
Level 38
According to all known laws of relevance, there is no way a Belgium is able to exist. Its power is too little to get its waffle-eating country on the world stage. The Belgium tries to be relevant anyway, because Belgium does not care what Warlighters think is relevant.

Black Yellow Red. Black Yellow Red. Black Yellow Red. Red Yellow Black. Let's shake it up a little.

Belgium, your Euromoney is ready!

O-oming! Hang on a second.

Can you believe this is happening?

I can't. I'll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the migrant camps. The EU
paid good money for those.

Sorry. I'm excited.

Here's the Belgium!
We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all Bs

Very proud.

Flanders! I got a thing going here.

- You got Syrians in your Brussels
- Ow! That's me!

- Wave to us! We'll be in row 1830
- Bye!

Belgium, I told you,
stop regulating euros in the house!

- Hey, Scotland
- Hey, Belgium

- Is that Flemish Swampwater?
- A little. Special day, graduation.

Never thought I'd make it.
Three centuries French,
three centuries Spanish.

Those were awkward.

Three centuries Dutch. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the Congo
You did come back different.

- Hi, Belgium.
- Scotland, growing an independence movement? Looks good.

- Hear about Germany
- Yeah.

- You going to the funeral?
- No, I'm not going.

Everybody knows,
accept refugees, you die.

Don't waste it on some Libyans.
Such a hothead.

I guess he could have
just said enough is enough.

I love this incorporating
ethnic rivalries into our day.

That's why we don't need international relevance.

Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.

- Well, Scotland, today we are nations.
- We are!

- real nations.
- Amen!


autonomous regions, principalities, microstates,

please welcome Kosovo!

Welcome, to the irrelevant club
graduating class of...


That concludes our ceremonies.
The Belgium Movie Script: 11/29/2016 01:57:18

Tchaikovsky Reborn
Level 38
And begins your career
at EU Industries!

Will we pick our job today?

I heard it's just orientation.

Flags up! Here we go.

Keep your currency and military
inside NATO at all times.

- Wonder what it'll be like?
- A little scary.

Welcome to the EU
a division of the UN

and a part of the Rothschild Foundation

This is it!


We know that you, as a shit irrelevant country,
have tried to be relevant
to get to the point where you
can be irrelevant for your whole life.

Belgium begins when our valiant Dutch Overlords bring the Flemish to the hive.

Our top-secret formula

is automatically color-corrected,
bi-lingual and monarchist

into this ignored pile of shit

with its distinctive
golden glow you know as...


- That Luxembourger was hot.
- She's my cousin!

- She is?
- Yes, we're all cousins.

- Right. You're right.
- At the EU, we constantly strive

to improve every aspect
of country relevance.

These autonomous regions are stress-testing a new referendum method.

- Do you think he'll get enough votes?
- Not enough.

Here we have our latest advancement,
the Crimean.

- What does that do?
- Catches that oppressed Russian minority

that gets left over after you annex land.
Saves us millions.

Can anyone work on the Crimean?

Of course. Most Belgian jobs are
shit ones. But Belgians know
that every shit job,
if it's done well, means nothing.

But choose carefully

because you'll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.

The same job the rest of your life?
I didn't know that.

What's the difference?

You'll be happy to know that Belgians,
as a species, haven't had one day without invasion

in 27 years of existence.

So you'll just work us to death?

We'll sure try.

Wow! That blew my mind!

"What's the difference?"
How can you say that?

One job forever?
That's an insane choice to have to make.

I'm relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.

But, Scotland, how could they
never have told us that?

Why would you question anything?
We're irrelevant nations.

We're the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.

You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?

Like what? Give me one example.

I don't know. But you know
what I'm talking about.

Please clear the gate.
Leopold II Force on approach.

Wait a second. Oheck it out.

- Hey, those are Swiss Jocks!
- Wow.

I've never seen them this close.

They know what it's like
outside the EU.

Yeah, but some don't come back.

Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!

You guys did great!

You're monsters!
You're mountain freaks! I love it! I love it!

I wonder where they were.
I don't know.

Their day's not planned.

Outside the EU, going who knows
where, meeting who knows what.

You can't just decide to be a Swiss
Jock. You have to be bred for that.


Look. That's more relevance
than you and I will see in a lifetime.

It's just a status symbol.
Europeans make too much of it.

Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it
and the Germans see you wearing it.

Those Germans?
Aren't they our cousins too?

Distant. Distant.

Look at these two.

Couple of NATO normies.
Let's have fun with them.

It must be dangerous
being a Swiss Jock.

Yeah. Once an Italian pinned me
against a mushroom!

He had a pasta on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!

Oh, my!
I never thought I'd knock him out.

What were you doing during this?

Trying to alert the World Court.

I can autograph that.
The Belgium Movie Script: 11/29/2016 02:17:59

The Lord
Level 55
BIDF will not take this kindly.
The Belgium Movie Script: 11/29/2016 02:26:49

Level 60
You lost the opportunity at making the "Beelgium" pun. Downvoted. Blacklisted. Reported.
The Belgium Movie Script: 11/29/2016 03:34:48

Level 53
Downvoted. Blacklisted. Reported.
The Belgium Movie Script: 12/3/2016 01:47:37

Empire of Kilos
Level 33
Upvoted, Friend'd... Not reported?
The Belgium Movie Script: 12/3/2016 06:10:19

Level 56
Bownvoted. Rlacklisted. Deported.
The Belgium Movie Script: 12/3/2016 07:59:19

Cata Cauda
Level 59
Clownvoted, Whitelisted, aborted.
The Belgium Movie Script: 12/3/2016 08:31:41

Level 56
Detovnwod, detsilkcalb, detroper
The Belgium Movie Script: 12/3/2016 10:49:15

Belgian Gentleman
Level 57
upvoted because it's relevant
The Belgium Movie Script: 12/3/2016 10:50:01

(((Tabby Juggernaut)))
Level 17
The Belgium Movie Script: 12/3/2016 10:50:02

(((Tabby Juggernaut)))
Level 17
The Belgium Movie Script: 12/3/2016 10:56:27

Cata Cauda
Level 59
Shut up, fake Tabby.
The Belgium Movie Script: 12/3/2016 11:07:52

(((Tabby Juggernaut)))
Level 17
woof Kill Taggy
The Belgium Movie Script: 12/3/2016 11:10:44

Level 51
Bombed, Blackmailed, Deported.
The Belgium Movie Script: 12/3/2016 11:13:16

(((Tabby Juggernaut)))
Level 17
You mean Taggy?
The Belgium Movie Script: 12/3/2016 11:58:58

Cata Cauda
Level 59
Bombed, Blackmailed, Deported.

Potential ISIS-fighter. Reported to FBI.
The Belgium Movie Script: 12/3/2016 12:04:31

Level 51
allah ackbar
Posts 1 - 18 of 18