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The Martian Rants: Biblical Movies.: 2/12/2016 19:23:48


[AOE] JaiBharat909
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I liked 10 Commandments. Everything else was downhill from there.
The Martian Rants: Biblical Movies.: 2/12/2016 19:50:56


MightySpeck (a Koala) 
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do you they would actually get guys that weren't circumcised for the part where they circumcise that whole town.
The Martian Rants: Biblical Movies.: 2/12/2016 23:00:39


Tchaikovsky Reborn
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I liked Prince of Egypt. Although somewhat inaccurate, it was a really, really good biblical movie, and a movie in general.
The Martian Rants: Biblical Movies.: 2/12/2016 23:18:24


Angry Koala
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BURN THE BIBLE BURN THE HERETICS! ALLAHU AKBAR!!!
The Martian Rants: Biblical Movies.: 2/12/2016 23:19:01


Cata Cauda
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^
Told you it is a salafist
The Martian Rants: Biblical Movies.: 2/13/2016 01:15:05


MightySpeck (a Koala) 
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The Martian Rants: Biblical Movies.: 2/13/2016 01:35:42


Жұқтыру
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It would still never work. The source material, the book series, is nearly as appalling as the movie. Heavily derivative of better works, piss-poor writing and characterization, a Mary Sue protagonist, a predictable, tension-lacking plot and logical pitfalls like authorial ignorance of how battles are fought. The Star Wars and Lotr fandom would throw a fit if a better remake was released (or even worse, if the film series was continued.)

Ironically enough, Eragon (the first book) is the best-written book out of the whole series.


I liked Eragon, and the whole tetrology. I don't care if it's "derivative of better works", every book derives from other books, why should this matter? The writing was very flowing, making seemlingly boringness, like waiting in prison for 2 hours suspenceful and apprehensive, but also slow. I have no idea what a Mary Sue protagonist, but whatever protagonist it is, I like it. Plots are always forecastable - the fun thing is, how will it get to where it will get to? Fun frain that you get more clues as you go along. Plots don't necessarily need to have tension, just as long as there's something engaging to do every day.
The Martian Rants: Biblical Movies.: 2/13/2016 02:09:55


Thomas 633
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Eragon is a shitty book but its light, easy reading imo. Not to much to think about, Eragon kills people who don't want to be there, the elves kill people who don't want to be there, the Varden kill people who don't want to be there etc.
Oh and the end is a heap of s***. The guy always gets the girl FOR A REASON.

*rant ends*
Biblical movies are terrible unless they're spoofs (I really like some of them). Jesus Christ Superstar and Life of Brian are great. Go see Deadpool, you'll like it better than any biblical film.
The Martian Rants: Biblical Movies.: 2/13/2016 03:49:30


Жұқтыру
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Eragon is a shitty book but its light, easy reading imo.


It's medium on tongue, but it's not light - all the books are somewhat big.

Not to much to think about, Eragon kills people who don't want to be there, the elves kill people who don't want to be there, the Varden kill people who don't want to be there etc.


What more do you need? It's great.

Oh and the end is a heap of s***. The guy always gets the girl FOR A REASON.


The end did not involve a girl...it was just a surprise grief attack (which was anticlimactic, but realistic - I liked it).
The Martian Rants: Biblical Movies.: 2/13/2016 04:27:29


Eklipse
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I don't get the hate for Eragon. Is it a bit like Lord of the Rings? Yeah, but so what? LOTR was an awesome series and I'm glad that others are picking up inspiration.

I wouldn't say the Eragon series is a great work of art, but it's a fun read and that's really the only requirement of fiction in my opinion.

Edited 2/13/2016 04:27:42
The Martian Rants: Biblical Movies.: 2/13/2016 05:11:30


Жұқтыру
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Actually, LOTR I found very boring. I could hardly get through a few bits of the Hobbit. Very poorly written.

it's a fun read and that's really the only requirement of fiction in my opinion.


+1
The Martian Rants: Biblical Movies.: 2/13/2016 05:30:32


Thomas 633
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+1
The Martian Rants: Biblical Movies.: 2/13/2016 07:11:25


The Man Who'd Buy Spain
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+1
The Martian Rants: Biblical Movies.: 2/13/2016 07:35:30


Genghis 
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At least biblical movies don't have black people in them.
The Martian Rants: Biblical Movies.: 2/13/2016 14:02:35


Lord Varys
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Genghis!

That's not true. The guy who carries Jesus' cross is black.
The Martian Rants: Biblical Movies.: 2/13/2016 17:10:27


[Wolf] Relmcheatham
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The only biblical movie I liked in the last 5 years is "Killing Jesus".


@The Martian


"The Messiah" is sort of like an opera. It is just a bunch of music and people singing/repeating Bible verses in a weird and confusing manner... My school makes us see it every year.
The Martian Rants: Biblical Movies.: 2/13/2016 18:36:16


Empire of Kilos
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The Martian Rants: Biblical Movies.: 2/13/2016 18:48:31


Darth Darth Binks
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Are you talking about the same play at the same church, Relm?
The Martian Rants: Biblical Movies.: 2/13/2016 18:57:38


Riveath
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Everything is subjective...
The Martian Rants: Biblical Movies.: 2/13/2016 21:34:05


Tchaikovsky Reborn
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Biblical Movies aren't really a big problem for me. I don't like or dislike them, except for two new ones:

Noah, and Exodus: Gods and Kings

Biblical movies are supposed to be accurate to scripture. And those two movies are about as close to following their sources as 300. Both of those are pretty much fantasy/action movies, just shoe-horning the Bible into it. Rock angels? Trained Hebrew slave armies?
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