Part 1: https://www.warlight.net/Forum/123159-history-world-tlj-part-1
Part 2: The Classical Age
Humans arose in a little valley full of s**** somewhere in Ethiopia and evolved there. Over time, they became Homo Sapiens because they liked gay sex. They eventually got tired of gay sex and became straight, migrating out of Africa (even then, Africa was c***) and settling the World.
6,000 Years ago, Your Mum invented Agriculture and it soon developed in places like Iraq, Egypt, and China. In Iraq, the Sumerian Civilization arose and in Egypt, the Egyptian Civilization arose because somebody Chad went there and s*** out a clusterf*** of c*** that they called Mud.
Soon, Civilization arose and in Greece where they still practiced gay sex (those filthy motherf***ers), Greece Civilization somehow arose and began spreading their culture of gay sex to Anatolia, Lebanon, and Southern Italy.
Meanwhile in Persia, Miley Cyrus the Great created the Achaemenid Empire and conquered much of the known World and went on to conquer those motherf***ers from Greece. Sadly, the Spartans and the Athenians defeated them by flinging s*** at them until they suffocated from that stench. Alexander the Great then conquered the Persians and buttf***ed their Emperor. He made it to India where he wallowed in s*** until he drowned and was killed by a s*** Yeti.
In Italy, the Romans have been buttf***ing barbarians and bavarians. They began to conquer the Italian Peninsula and went to war with Carthage over buttf***ing rights for the Iberians. Rome won and buttf***ed the Iberians until they became Romans and started buttf***ing other people. Soon the Romans buttf***ed their way to Gaul, Egypt, and England. Soon the Barbarians shall have their revenge against Rome!
To be continued.....