(Below: Flag of the Philippines)
Largest City: Quezon City
Current President: Benigno Aquino the Turd
National Currency: Igit
National Religion: Habitual Ignorance
National Hero: Manny Pacquiao, Douglas McArthur
The Philippines (also known as the Colony of the Philippines) is a Chinese (formerly American) Colony located in Southeast Asia. It is often mistaken for a sovereign nation. The Capital, Manila, is a cockroach infested, urine drenched, and smog clouded city located in an Interdimensional Rift in Time and Space. The City often does not exist for most of the Year but usually comes out during August. The Country is ruled by the Catholic Church who smites the living **** out of anyone who opposes them. The People are brainwashed by the Church to watch Brain Rotting shows like Showtime and whatever crappy dramas they got there. Philippine Cuisine is famous for its toxicity and its ability to poison Chuck Norris which is a remarkable feat. The Country is barely held together by a clusterf*** of Interdimensional Portals that converge to form a Black Hole from which all the Trash in the Universe comes out.
Facts for visiting the Philippines:
1. You can jaywalk all you want. The Police in the Philippines are extremely apathetic and would often ignore you because they are usually drunk in San Miguel, the most toxic beverage in the World.
2. Tsismis is News there. The News in the Philippines is actually called Tsismis which spreads quicker than the Internet. Be careful though, you might become Tsismis!
3. There are more Internet Cafes in the Philippines than the Total Human Population. Internet Cafes are the fastest way to access the Internet in the Philippines. They multiply every second and are quickly growing. Scientists estimate that Internet Cafes will soon cover every square inch of the Philippines by 2050.
Edited 11/26/2015 12:43:53