Just the first few lines, what do you think?

As the nuclear missile collided, many things happened. I felt the wave pass through me and tumble the streets into so much rubble like a million elephants had escaped the zoo at once. I felt my mouth clamp shut, and tasted blood. I felt my body shatter as though it had been flung against the cold ground from orbit, as it hit what remained of the town hall. My eyes closed. And then the real adventure began.

Dear honourable X:

It may seem as though the rank shown is not merited, and extending the definition of the sentence, that the author of this music does not deserve such a rank. That sort of seeming would be incorrect, unfortunately. This piece has been executed to such a spectacular, perhaps unfathomable (yet audible), niveau that it should be obvious that there is a fact that disproves this method of seeming as was aforementioned. The fact states that extra credit is obviously to be merited, that the author is meritorious of this rank and is commendable, admirable and credible for this work and in all other ways, deserves this rank. This rank merely culminates in the materialisation and validity of the rank above the insufficient maximum, and therefore, can be considered remedied to a lower status synomonous with or exactly invalid, maximum and recognises talent and gives approbation and, by extension of the approval, commends and rewards the author of this work with a spectacular rank that starts to correlate to the quality of the work.

Thank you for your valuable time.

With the regards of commendable Y

And that's how I earned my persuasive techniques degree (bullshitting).

УГ I decided against sending this letter in the end.

Edited 3/25/2015 03:54:21

I would do at least a few more paragraphs. I have interest, but i don't think the hook will last.

Well...
Your descriptive words are rather basic (and boring) fix that and it should be ok..
Also if a nuke hit near me I wouldn't be writing about it (bad storyline in my opinion)

the guy is dead you imbecile

As the nuclear missile collided, many things happened.

The first line says it all, you need practise.

As the nuclear missile struck, Armageddon was unleashed. A hypnotizing symphony of death and destruction unfolded it itself before my eyes and ears. It was terrifying, yet not without a strange macabre beauty when the fiery blast of all consuming nuclear extirpation leveled the city before my eyes.
But my moment of awe and horror was short. I felt the shock wave picking me up, flinging me throught the streets as if I was a pebble fired from a slingshot.
In a fraction on an instant, my mouth clamped shut with the familiar metallic taste of blood gushing itself within. My body was pressed together by unbearable pressure, contracting my lung and agonizingly painfully squeezing out my last breath through my bloodied, broken jar.
Breathless, in shock and with a cascade of pain receptors firing in my brain, I felt the bones of my body shatter when I hit what remained of the town hall.
I knew it was all over, but I felt strangely serene, almost estatic when my body flooded my system with all the Dopamin it had left. A last effort to smoothen my transation into the afterlife. I had a final glimpse at life, then I calmly passed out into eternity.

I know I should have been dead,
but for some unknown reason I wasn't.
And this was when the real adventure began.

As the nuclear missile struck, Osama Bin Laden awoken from his grave, with a smile coming from his big, almost desert-like dry lips. A smile only a man who had just recieved head could have.

The missile had struck Osama's huge pussy, and had penetrated so hard it had removed all the sand from it, which had bothered him for yea- No! Centuries.

Osama jumped out of his grave in Iraq, and started shooting all around him, regardless of him hiting children,goats and women, for he knew they were all muslims, and therefor terrorists.

Whilst this Armageddon of freedom continued he let out a roar, so free that George Bush - without thinking of it - started shouting "U-S-A U-S-A U-S-A!".

And so Osama rid the world of IS.

Heres a story ive started writing for the lost wolves:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=0Bw2KLWneXqa-a1ZZbUItSTJRMkk&authuser=0

Sounds like it was written by a 5-year old...
was it?

yeah, there are sooo many grammatical issues, spelling mistakes and some sentences don't even make sense;


"but whether for the better or worse is debatable."

"After decades of growths"

"yet it could not even be to scale on the on the importance"

"Flags hailed all everywhere"


And thats just from the first 2 paragraphs!

Edited 3/27/2015 19:33:01

I think it would make sense if the story was told from the perspective of a 5-year old? *shrug*
Better grammar than most greentexts at least.

all of those are grammatically correct BWAHHAHAHAHAHAH so you can all go fuck yourselves. Exept Xypapy, who is having sex with two kittens and a dog

oh yes, and if you can prove me wrong, i will eat my hand. So go ahead bitches. find a grammatical error.

Edited 3/26/2015 00:51:22

also, growths does not count. it is a SPELLING error

^You could argue that...but I really doubt that you thought growth was spelled growths...but never mind.

lol thomas isnt responding because everyones correcting him.

Poor fella

well one good point is that he has a good plot and story-line going