Cheer up, mate. :) You are not lame. This is stupid. You got worth in the Lord's eyes that cannot be diminished. Just look at the cross. He did that for you. And that is not connected to your ladder performance. And btw you keep your skills, too, even after 5 ladder defeats or so. So, cheer up. Everything's finer than you think. Me, too, reached my pinnacle of glory and will step down from immortality soon enough.^^ And finally, we are men. We do not need to be admired. Cheer up.