You could have found that out by googling it. But then, you just had to let everybody know that you recognised it, right? That's a very schizo thing to do.

Oh, and @Spongebruce Chefhat: you are one of the shittiest posters here. So you can fuck off. Maybe some of the time that you aren't spending looking for a job, you could use to think of something funny or interesting to write here. Your copypasta is nauseating. Professional dingleberry.

Here, I have some bitter to liven up your umami.


Shittiest posters, named and shamed and quantified:

0. sexists; people who harass aranka; pseuds who use brain-dryingly stupid lines of reasoning to argue that women are inferior to men, and related nonsense. chop off your dicks and feed them to a gerbil, you don't deserve them.

1. anybody using a multiaccount to talk about how great they are. The 1v1 ladder exists, so why don't you shut the fuck up and join it. i hate you.

2. schizo/falcon/nike/yaat (it's possible that this is not the same person, but I cannot stomach the idea that there is more than one of you.)

3. joker - whoever you are, i hate you.

4. dead "the forums are terrible, how can i make them worse? by talking about how awful they are, so they become self-reflexive as well as completely worthless? yes." piggy. you can do better. i don't have much evidence for that, but i believe it.

5. myhandisonfire. yes, we get it, you are heterosexual. you are also incredibly boring.

once he told me a story about he saved somebody from being beaten up. it was actually pretty impressive, so i said, only semi-jokingly, "wow, myhand, you're my hero". he replied: "i know you're joking, but i actually am a hero." yes, i'm paraphrasing, but the way he put it was even more self-serious. it went something like:

"Negatory, x of apex, to you, I am not. But to that poor fellow, on that fateful night, I was a hero. [Stares into middle distance.]"

rescuing hateworthiness from the jaws of likeability.

6. the ReLites (they are all indistinguishable from one another, except for aranka). and pretty much anybody who is talking about clans, especially when it is myhand.

7. aranka when i'm not feeling sorry for her

8. myself, because i hate myself for even posting here.

plus i'm mean, aren't i? people will think "woah, he must have had a bad day today." but no, this is how i always feel when i read the forums. i just usually sublimate it better.


too spiteful to punctuate right now

8. myself, because i hate myself for even posting here.

if the only reason why you are in this list is because of your self-hate you show very badly in your self-consciousness

2. schizo/falcon/nike/yaat (it's possible that this is not the same person, but I cannot stomach the idea that there is more than one of you.)

none of those is my alt, its true, there are many liek us.... im not one of those sad losers who buy memberships for their alts

but,but, but...

...

so yeah ill take 5 cases of descartes beer

french beer isnt all that great... i want a Nietzsche(an?) beer

I'm trashed and about to go look at fishes, penguins and snakes. But X FUCKING laid down truth.

Most of you will disregard his post entirely, but he's BAMF and even though he just changed his name to something absurd, he has upped my weight in him.

I keep on forgetting this, who's alts is x?

can you guy stop creating these neard alts?

@x:
How come in several posts you condemn your #0 and in others you seem to be part of that group ?

0. sexists; people who harass aranka;

If you 're going to throw those two together, why not rename to aranka's brains ? :D

1. anybody using a multiaccount to

multiaccounts are like religion, they start out as funny, but before you know it people start taking them seriously and then the shit hits the van :P

Joker

Yes, good, take him more seriously, you 're realy improving the forums right now.

6. the ReLites (they are all indistinguishable from one another, except for aranka). and pretty much anybody who is talking about clans, especially when it is myhand.

Hmm, interesting combo for one group, it would work for a FFA, but as a social(/hate?) group it is a total miss imo.

aranka when i'm not feeling sorry for her

You need to channel your hate towards your pity, and they will burn each other away.

8.Myself, because i hate myself for even posting here.

Don't hate yourself for doing whatever you want to do, just learn to reflect on what you did and use that knowledge to guide you through your future actions :)

Thank you for the validation, kind donkey. I'm sorry you do not appreciate my new username. I offer the following lame excuses unto the forum:

1. "Aranka's Boobs" does not refer to Aranka's boobs. It refers to a monkey named Aranka's Boobs.

2. A great deal of attention has been placed on Aranka's boobs. By naming myself Aranka's Boobs, I hope to displace some of this attention onto myself. Now when they clamour for Aranka's boobs, I will pop up, saying "Here's Aranka's Boobs. What can Aranka's Boobs do for you?"

3. Puns.

4. It is an attempt to render the phrase "Aranka's boobs" meaningless, by two methods:

a. Semantic satiation.
b. By attributing the phrase "Aranka's Boobs" to myself, now, when people refer to "Aranka's Boobs" or any variation thereon, they are no longer referring to Aranka's boobs, they are referring to me.
b. ii. This will cause a great deal of confusion, which will detract from the undesirable direction of the conversation (see 2).

5. It's a Community reference.

6. My name actually refers to this Aranka, and her boobs: http://arankabikki.com/

7. By taking forum distastefulness to an (intentionally) absurd extreme, I hope to head off all the other distastefulness in the same vein. They shall balk in the face of Aranka's Boobs.

The worst person for the forum at the moment is tigger.

That is after all the crazy alta who should just be banned.

But tigger is on an incredible roll this week. It's like watching a train wreck knowing its going to happen and seeing more and more things go wrong.

Tigger is gifted. He honestly thinks he is something special just by posting.

For this. I want to raise a glass to him. If we spook him off we won't have humor!

Roam free tigger. Roam (free!

And

8. I didn't want people to call me by my current username, like last time they called me Annyong. Now I can be x again.

---

Now, it's always darkest before the dawn. So here are my forum faves:

1. BOSTON - love ya donkey. Even though you only liked my post because I insulted tig!

2. WM Anonymous - often funny and has a sense of humour about himself.

3. Aranka when she is being pleasant.

4. Um

5. A bunch of people who don't post very often. Tigger about 5% of the time.

6. People doing stuff actually relating to the game. I can't hate that.

7. Uhh

8. Anti-x Capybara (RIP) - my only intellectual equal. A formidable opponent.

9. I honestly thought there were more than this. Two and a half people. Oh well.

---

french beer isnt all that great... i want a Nietzsche(an?) beer

Ooh ooh, can it be my turn to name a philosopher apros pos of nothing? I'm going to go with ... Jean-Paul Sartre?

Um yes ... I am a manly man, I like to drink the alcohols and smoke and half-naked women. How about that, uhh ... Italian beer. Is that something? It tastes a certain way, and I have very strong opinions about that.

Did I do it right?

Oh, come on boobieman, one of your oldest friends from this game doesn't get a mention? I see how it is!

How can noob be forgotten. He is one of my true loves. I will visit him for his wedding next year :p

Just because you are not mentioned does not mean you are not loved my friend.

forum faves

You haven't been very active on the forum, noobS. So:

5. A bunch of people who don't post very often.

There, there. It's allright.

hrmpf. that post wasn't there a minute ago.

X, if your goal was to get my angry, you succeed, you little fuck.
In all my time here, you must be the first.
And since you acted like such a little prick, I will answer emotionally for once.
The selfrightous way in which you present yourself and the display of a foul character by mentioning that very incindent,only to wield it as a weapon against someone you dont even know is making me sick.
I am pretty sure i didnt open a private chat with you, telling you what a hero i had been. I was joining a game and mentioning it directly in the aftermath of the incident. I know that you dont leave the house often enough to experience a situation like that first hand. Maybe its not your fault that Nietzsche and Descartes didnt write about how it feels, when 8 guys drag another guy around the corner kicking him repeatedly against the head. But let me tell you, even if you are able to defend yourself and even if you happened to be in various similarily dangerous lifethreatening situations before, you are immediatedly high on adrenalin. You are starting to shake and you know that you have to act, otherwise you will be frozen by your adrenalin, watching someone being killed, I repeat: KILLED! right before your eyes.
You also know that despite your training and whatever skills and abilities you have, they can easily rip you apart and kick your head the same way they kick his.
You know you have to act and you are scared shitless.
And to make in that moment the decision to throw yourself between the attackers and a guy dont even know, fully aware that you risk your own life to save another, makes you a fucking hero. I didnt claim false humility. I didnt say "hey, what i did, everybody would have done" because its a fucking lie.
I didnt want a medal for acting like i did. I was still shaken by the incident, I was still scared by the situation i put myself in, so I had to clarify for myself that I acted right and that i was a hero. I needed to vent. You happened to be there at the same, thats good for you. You happened to feel offended, only displaying what a ivory-towered, jealous like prick you are.
I know by experience that people rarely are grateful when you save them from a situation like this. They are ingrate, because you remind them on their own inabilities. They don`t know how to deal with that, so they don`t like to deal with you. I don`t real need them to thank me, to make me do the right thing again, when time comes.
But please, what I really don`t need, is the mockery of a small mind like you, that draws his lifeexperience out of wise books, while sitting in an armchair.

X isn't all that bad. Words are empty and meaningless, especially if they haven't a true identity and name to attach to.

I feel quite good now. On a dark, rainy night I intervened to rescue X from myhand's sharp words and viscious comparisons. I am X's hero, even if he doesn't realize it.

X said you were unlikeable and cited a source. Someone has threatened your delusions of uniqueness and superiority. This is called narcissistic injury and it leads to narcissistic rage, in your case a few hundred words of thoughtless insults, self justification and hate.

Losing your temper like this is weak, and very unlikeable.

That is after all the crazy alta who should just be banned.

said by na alt

How can noob be forgotten. He is one of my true loves. I will visit him for his wedding next year :p

Just because you are not mentioned does not mean you are not loved my friend.

answering to somethign adressed to x....

You are part of 5, noobieman! [Reads further] Ah, gnull mentionated that for me. There are lots of occasional posters, I didn't want to name any because I knew I would miss some out. You know who you are.

Words are empty and meaningless, especially if they haven't a true identity and name to attach to.

I've already posted my name here, on the Before Aranka thread. It's Conrad Teixeira. My postcode is SE25 5HE. I work at E1W 3HU. What else would you like to know? I don't like talking about myself, but if that is a requirement for having an opinion, so be it. Oh, and that's very rich, coming from an alt.


Myhand - okay, I'm sorry my invective made you so angry. Sorry and amused by the insults, but mostly sorry.

But re-read your post. You have a really, really great story there. One that makes you appear incredibly admirable. Why do you have to interrupt it with self-mythologising? Your egotism compromises the nobility of your actions. Not all humility is false. You could focus on how crazy the whole thing was, or how fucked up the city is. You could talk about how you felt at the time - maybe how you were a little scared. You could throw in some details - where were you? What were you up to before you happened on the scene? What did the people look like?

But the only detail you seem to be interested in is how awesome you are. You probably are awesome, but going on about it all the time is unbecoming. It's like the hip-hop producers and radio stations who put audio-watermarks over the top of tracks. It's like if Illmatic had an overproduced clip of somebody saying "NAS" once every verse.

You know that you deserve credit for what you did. Why can't you accept the demerit for being so self-serving? For normal people (ie not me), when you add those two up, the result is an overwhelmingly positive reflection on you.

Anyway, I thought I was the quixote here. But he spoke for around 30 pages about why the sword is mightier than the pen. So I guess I should hand my rusted helmet over to you.


Tig - he's right, I'm a dick. I knew I got too personal, and that I probably should have told him in private if I was ever going to say anything. Wasn't it just plain scurrilous? But I thought my digression showed up my own hatefulness and skewed perspective, more than anything about Myhand.