And

8. I didn't want people to call me by my current username, like last time they called me Annyong. Now I can be x again.

---

Now, it's always darkest before the dawn. So here are my forum faves:

1. BOSTON - love ya donkey. Even though you only liked my post because I insulted tig!

2. WM Anonymous - often funny and has a sense of humour about himself.

3. Aranka when she is being pleasant.

4. Um

5. A bunch of people who don't post very often. Tigger about 5% of the time.

6. People doing stuff actually relating to the game. I can't hate that.

7. Uhh

8. Anti-x Capybara (RIP) - my only intellectual equal. A formidable opponent.

9. I honestly thought there were more than this. Two and a half people. Oh well.

---

french beer isnt all that great... i want a Nietzsche(an?) beer

Ooh ooh, can it be my turn to name a philosopher apros pos of nothing? I'm going to go with ... Jean-Paul Sartre?

Um yes ... I am a manly man, I like to drink the alcohols and smoke and half-naked women. How about that, uhh ... Italian beer. Is that something? It tastes a certain way, and I have very strong opinions about that.

Did I do it right?

Oh, come on boobieman, one of your oldest friends from this game doesn't get a mention? I see how it is!

How can noob be forgotten. He is one of my true loves. I will visit him for his wedding next year :p

Just because you are not mentioned does not mean you are not loved my friend.

forum faves

You haven't been very active on the forum, noobS. So:

5. A bunch of people who don't post very often.

There, there. It's allright.

hrmpf. that post wasn't there a minute ago.

X, if your goal was to get my angry, you succeed, you little fuck.
In all my time here, you must be the first.
And since you acted like such a little prick, I will answer emotionally for once.
The selfrightous way in which you present yourself and the display of a foul character by mentioning that very incindent,only to wield it as a weapon against someone you dont even know is making me sick.
I am pretty sure i didnt open a private chat with you, telling you what a hero i had been. I was joining a game and mentioning it directly in the aftermath of the incident. I know that you dont leave the house often enough to experience a situation like that first hand. Maybe its not your fault that Nietzsche and Descartes didnt write about how it feels, when 8 guys drag another guy around the corner kicking him repeatedly against the head. But let me tell you, even if you are able to defend yourself and even if you happened to be in various similarily dangerous lifethreatening situations before, you are immediatedly high on adrenalin. You are starting to shake and you know that you have to act, otherwise you will be frozen by your adrenalin, watching someone being killed, I repeat: KILLED! right before your eyes.
You also know that despite your training and whatever skills and abilities you have, they can easily rip you apart and kick your head the same way they kick his.
You know you have to act and you are scared shitless.
And to make in that moment the decision to throw yourself between the attackers and a guy dont even know, fully aware that you risk your own life to save another, makes you a fucking hero. I didnt claim false humility. I didnt say "hey, what i did, everybody would have done" because its a fucking lie.
I didnt want a medal for acting like i did. I was still shaken by the incident, I was still scared by the situation i put myself in, so I had to clarify for myself that I acted right and that i was a hero. I needed to vent. You happened to be there at the same, thats good for you. You happened to feel offended, only displaying what a ivory-towered, jealous like prick you are.
I know by experience that people rarely are grateful when you save them from a situation like this. They are ingrate, because you remind them on their own inabilities. They don`t know how to deal with that, so they don`t like to deal with you. I don`t real need them to thank me, to make me do the right thing again, when time comes.
But please, what I really don`t need, is the mockery of a small mind like you, that draws his lifeexperience out of wise books, while sitting in an armchair.

X isn't all that bad. Words are empty and meaningless, especially if they haven't a true identity and name to attach to.

I feel quite good now. On a dark, rainy night I intervened to rescue X from myhand's sharp words and viscious comparisons. I am X's hero, even if he doesn't realize it.

X said you were unlikeable and cited a source. Someone has threatened your delusions of uniqueness and superiority. This is called narcissistic injury and it leads to narcissistic rage, in your case a few hundred words of thoughtless insults, self justification and hate.

Losing your temper like this is weak, and very unlikeable.

That is after all the crazy alta who should just be banned.

said by na alt

How can noob be forgotten. He is one of my true loves. I will visit him for his wedding next year :p

Just because you are not mentioned does not mean you are not loved my friend.

answering to somethign adressed to x....

You are part of 5, noobieman! [Reads further] Ah, gnull mentionated that for me. There are lots of occasional posters, I didn't want to name any because I knew I would miss some out. You know who you are.

Words are empty and meaningless, especially if they haven't a true identity and name to attach to.

I've already posted my name here, on the Before Aranka thread. It's Conrad Teixeira. My postcode is SE25 5HE. I work at E1W 3HU. What else would you like to know? I don't like talking about myself, but if that is a requirement for having an opinion, so be it. Oh, and that's very rich, coming from an alt.


Myhand - okay, I'm sorry my invective made you so angry. Sorry and amused by the insults, but mostly sorry.

But re-read your post. You have a really, really great story there. One that makes you appear incredibly admirable. Why do you have to interrupt it with self-mythologising? Your egotism compromises the nobility of your actions. Not all humility is false. You could focus on how crazy the whole thing was, or how fucked up the city is. You could talk about how you felt at the time - maybe how you were a little scared. You could throw in some details - where were you? What were you up to before you happened on the scene? What did the people look like?

But the only detail you seem to be interested in is how awesome you are. You probably are awesome, but going on about it all the time is unbecoming. It's like the hip-hop producers and radio stations who put audio-watermarks over the top of tracks. It's like if Illmatic had an overproduced clip of somebody saying "NAS" once every verse.

You know that you deserve credit for what you did. Why can't you accept the demerit for being so self-serving? For normal people (ie not me), when you add those two up, the result is an overwhelmingly positive reflection on you.

Anyway, I thought I was the quixote here. But he spoke for around 30 pages about why the sword is mightier than the pen. So I guess I should hand my rusted helmet over to you.


Tig - he's right, I'm a dick. I knew I got too personal, and that I probably should have told him in private if I was ever going to say anything. Wasn't it just plain scurrilous? But I thought my digression showed up my own hatefulness and skewed perspective, more than anything about Myhand.

Oh, and it's weird that you should admonish me for being a bookworm, when you needed my words to assure you that you were a hero. A hero, like in some comic. That if you were a supporting character in a Dickens novel, you would be called Mr. Niceguy McAssiststheprotagonist or something like that.

Since you are part of the gritty, grisly real world, you should know that heroes don't exist. Slugs spend a lot of their time outside, but I wouldn't expect them to understand much about the world. They don't even know that they're slugs.

Myhands story of heroism is about myhand and not the other people involved or the city because he is a massive narcissist. He couldnt tell the story any other way because everything in his life is all about him. Trying to pacify him is only giving him what he wants (attention focused on him) and reinforcing his behaviour. For his good dont apologise when you werent wrong, dont cower, tell him to stop acting like a child.

I'm not going to kick him when he's down.

Anyway, of course I am ungrateful for his brilliant forumming. He just reminds me of my own inability. He doesn't want or need my appreciation.

Heil Tigger, creator of the master race. You would know about childish narcism, wouldnt you?

Yes, when I read X post about that incident and the way he talked about it, I was pissed and rightfully so. The way he displayed it, as if I came to him and wanting his appreciation of my deed, was not only ridiculous, but publicly announcing anything that was a topic of a more private conversation is a display of a very bad character. I would never do that, not even with my "enemies". What people tell me in private , stays in private, no matter how the relationship has been strained. Maybe that is why all the people I know and meet trust me and what makes me so awesome ;) in real life. But I know that not everyone can have equally high standards.

I am aware that when you havent been part of a life threatening situation, you can`t relate to even a fraction of what it was. It is fine. I calmed down. Just keep judging me for not being modest enough in your eyes.
But next time you read in the news paper "young student beaten to death in bar" etc., think about that how fucking happy he and his mother would feel now, if an narcistic, inmodest selfcentred prick would have been there to brag about his hero status.

And yes X. You tell yourself heroes dont exist as an excuse for you not achieving what you could. I can imagine that you tried often enough when you were younger, applying your sense of justice to an injust world. I can imagine it weared you down and I made you cynical. That is fine. That just not right.
There have been many heroes. There will always be heroes. Heroes die everyday, dying for their ideals. Political heroes get shot. Couragous journalists, doctors, socialworkers or just plain civillians mugged, raped, killed, everyday. Sitting behind a PC with a mysantrophic pseudo enlightened attitude about it and denying it, wont change it.
It just justifies your own inactivity.

BORING!

He's not down. Look, hes still fighting fit, so do him a favour and hit him again.

Myhand is awesome....we get it

Now stop boring us and get out there to be a hero yet once again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPU8OAjjS4k

I think I'd rather be beaten to death than to help you feel better about yourself.

You are angry at the way I portrayed it? I portrayed it accurately and succinctly. The way you are presenting it makes it sound like you are some kind of fucking Batman. What's your origin story, did you get bitten by a radioactive douchebag?

Getting raped doesn't make you a hero. That isn't even remotely close to the meaning of the word. You obviously don't know its meaning. Look how petty and cruel you are being. There's a phrase used in cinema: "show don't tell". You are telling us how noble you are, but the actions we are witnessing are far from heroic.

And you think I'm being cynical? If I was cynical I wouldn't even bother replying to your sad little post. I'm fighting for what I believe in. I believe in a forum to be proud of. I believe in a humble Myhand. A productive Piggy. A charming Aranka. You might say I'm a dreamer, but ... well, I am the only one.

And look at what it's achieving ... nothing. The tiniest improvement cannot be accomplished. I am the guy in Grizzly Man, eaten by the bears I am delusionally trying to save. Herzog was right: death, cruelty and chaos is the nature of the forum. Hopeless bleak despair. I've seen the best threads of my generation destroyed by madness, starving, hysterical.

X, Tigger and Aranka. If I get you three to bond, I must have hit a nerve.

I would like to fight you three at the time, really.
Problem is, you are so cute, that i dont know if i should rather protect you instead.

Oh Myhand, threatening to beat a girl up on the internet? You're a hero after all!

Let me know where us 4 will meet up to have it out, I think we could take you. Aranka's Boobs will destroy you. You'll curse the day you crossed Aranka's Boobs, etc.