Welcome to Harvey's Public House!

The owner is a bit busy on a mysterious trip right now, but he left me to tend the bar.

Hello, is this place family-friendly?

Grover moved his head to look at the urinal behind him. When he turned again, Harvey Beck was standing smiling at him from across the pubs toilets. Grover rose to his feet, stared at him for some seconds in utter amazement, and then it appeared that Berdan must have fainted for the first and the last time in his life. Certainly a grey mist swirled before his eyes, and when it cleared he found his collar-ends undone and the tingling after-taste of ejaculate upon his lips as his body subconsciously readied itself to give itself over completely to his dear friend.

Harvey was bending over the urinal, a bag of galaxy minstrels in hand.
“My dear fellows,” said the well-remembered voice, “I owe you a thousand apologies. I had no idea that you would be so affected.”
Grover gripped him by the arms, shaking him slightly and causing his urea to scatter from his enormous phallus and fall about the floor.
“Harvey!” He cried. “Is it really you? Can it indeed be that you are unbanned? Is it possible that you succeeded in climbing out of that awful abyss?”
“Wait a moment,” said Harvey. “Are you sure that you are really fit to discuss things? I have given you a serious shock by my unnecessarily dramatic reappearance.”
“I am all right, but indeed, Harvey, I can hardly believe my eyes. Good heavens! to think that you—you of all men—should be standing in this pub!.” Again he gripped him by the sleeve, and felt the 23 inch thick, vascular arm beneath it. “Well, you’re not a spirit anyhow,” said Grover.

Berdan had finally began to come to his senses and interjected,
“My dear chap, I’m overjoyed to see you. Come here, and tell me how you came alive out of that dreadful banning.”
Harvey stood opposite to him, and stuffed 8 galaxy minstrels into his mouth in his old, nonchalant manner. He was dressed in an immaculate Gucci suit, the word “flex” embroidered uniformly across every available inch of fabric. Around his neck hung an ungainly and morbid necklace. A simple piece of string with a rotting woman’s head and a wooden board which read “Viking Slayers mother”, the head and board rattled terribly as he moved.

Harvey looked even more muscular and handsome than of old, but there was a dead-white tinge in his aquiline face which told me that his life recently had not been a healthy one. “I am glad to stretch myself, lads,” said he. “It is no joke when a 8 foot tall man such as myself has to take a foot off his stature to for several hours on end. Now, my dear fellows, in the matter of these explanations, we have, if I may ask for your cooperation, a hard and dangerous work in front of us. Perhaps it would be better if I gave you an account of the whole situation when that work is finished.”
“We are full of curiosity. We should much prefer to hear now.”
“You’ll come with me?”
“When you like and where you like.”
“This is, indeed, strange how you mutter in unison. But we shall have time for a mouthful of labia before we need go. Well, then, about that banning. I had no serious difficulty in getting out of it, for the very simple reason that I never was in it.”
“You never were in it?”

“No, chaps, I never was banned. I had little doubt that I had come to the end of my trolling career when I perceived the somewhat sinister (yet minuscule) figures of Viking Slayer, Bubble wrap 2.0 and Maniacal standing upon the narrow pathway which led to safety. I read an inexorable purpose in their beady fluoride soaked eyes. I exchanged some remarks with them, dabbed on them, therefore, and made complete fools of them. I walked along the pathway, with these celibate puritans still at my heels. When I reached the end I stood at bay and said a few swear words. They drew no weapons, but rushed at me and threw their little arms around me. They knew that their own game was up, and were only anxious to revenge themselves upon me. We all tottered together upon the brink of the fall. I have some knowledge, however, of boxing, or the English system of causing bodily harm, which has more than once been very useful to me. I slipped through their grip, and walloped each of them with a furious series of expertly targeted blows, and they, with a horrible scream kicked madly for a few seconds, and clawed the air with their little hands. But for all their efforts they could not get their balance, and over they went. With my face over the brink, I saw them fall for a long way. Then Viking Slayers groin struck a rock, severing his genitals completely- bounded off, and splashed into the water.”

Edited 2/20/2022 15:47:36

the mad lad is back

*reminds me of the HCF war and the two suspensions*
*racks up courage*
*drinks a little coke*
Hi! Are you alright? How has it been lately?

I am fine thank you, how are you all? Hoping to get Cazza and Robert back soon and study the rules with them to avoid being banned again 😀

that's a slippery slope

I expected a warmer welcome berdan 😀

expect the unexpected

Haven’t you missed me? 😀

I have two comments about your excellent fan-fiction level posts:

1. The fact that there is apparently a urinal behind the bar at Harvey's Public House is unsurprising.

2. I appreciate that in this world berden and I are speaking British.

Bravo, Harvey.

Edited 2/21/2022 03:44:14

Thanks Grover, after Berdans lukewarm reaction I was starting to feel unwelcome… Cazza will be very disappointed to hear he’s treated me like this, for a moment I considered editing him out of my story for a more staunch supporter but I won’t be so petty

How you doin Harvey

I’m okay thanks pal how have you been

I'm all right

Have a little advice.

Just don't get yourself banned again :)

I’m hoping Cazza and Rob will be back soon, they need to email Fizzer but they’re being worked pretty hard at the moment at their jobs I think