You have all the side effects as well

Ability to cure all diseases and ailments

but you die on a toilet the next day

Ability to forget anything

But you remember it instantly

Infinite lives

Infinite deaths. One every hour, on the hour.

Know the correct answer to every question you or anyone else asks

You are unable to communicate or interact with the external world. You can only listen and analyze. You will know the correct answer but cannot do anything with it.

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You can do any drug without getting addicted

But you must sell the drug to the government

Having no side effects

But you have no superpower either

ability to remember the remote is, and to get it BEFORE I am all cozy on the couch

You must rub glue all over your hands before picking it up

Ability to do any chore perfectly in 1 second

But then you must recover in bed for an entire day since it is so exhausting

The ability to not age

You are all that exists after the heat death of the universe, cold dark and alone for all of eternity

Ability to open the microwave right before it beeps

But your food resets to its original temperature

Ability to phase water through all states of matter effortlessly

but you are allergic to water

ability to download wikipedia into my brain and access any knowledge within it instantaneously

But as soon as you download Wikipedia, you can no longer use your brain; the only thing you can do is use the knowledge. Your body will just be an empty shell.
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Airbending

But only against yourself

The ability to charge your phone without a phone charger

It’s on those old school first generation cell phones the size of a brick

The ability to always have green lights and no traffic when driving

But you have to listen to The Soviet National Anthem in full volume

The ability to know what the next person will say

but they will always be interrupted by someone else

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the ability to finish homework on time

You still manage to get an F

Ability for the next person’s post to be skipped