<< Back to Off-topic Forum   Search

Posts 1 - 17 of 17   
Juq™ presents: Infection Mailbox: 1/1/2017 03:36:20

Level 60
From the makers of Alcohol Admiral, The Shitomir Post and Chemistry is my SHITe, the newest shitpost, fresh out of the JuqBuq™ is here. Happy new year - enjoy the first legit shitpost of the year.


EDIT: LOVEPOST! Not shitpost. L o v e p o s t.

I think I'm pretty sharp-witted, I think I'm pretty bright Celtic lad (Ox told me that my English accent sounds either Scottish, either Irish, and an English test I took a long while ago said that my English dialect most fits Welsh). So I reckon that folk would like very much to see what is in a sociable lad like my self's mailbox. I got some pretty interesting emails, I'll just disclaim that starting right, it's like, it's like when you're at a traffic light, right, and the light switches from amber to green. That's how we're going right now. GREEN LIGHT!

so first off, we're going to be looking at my oldest emails. This is what we call, LEGACY and NOSTALGHIA. We got some good ones up in here.

And you know, I did email {RP}Perdito about it, and he said that he would fix it, but he never did!! Ack the vardar troll. But that's the past. What's happening today? I like to keep it fresh, like my meat. Well, the first few pages are mostly anonym spam but but skipping past that

now this is all fun and shied but it's time to open some? I agree with you very much. Now, Semicedevine, not many know him past the flamboyant streamer and organiser of NGL, but he is actually a very shy guy. He didn't reply to my words of comfort at all, and he doesn't usually reply to me on Skype, either when LAWLZ gave us Wolves-of-the-year award but that's another tale...

anyhow but yeah, let's open my mail which was left unreplied, you'll see that I boosted his spirits up, preparing him for any psychologic warfare Nex would don upon him and Lynx in the incoming fight.

While these words were left untaken, I did have moderate success with Aura Guardian in recruiting him to A.D. Now, I'm a strategist, I like to think about how I will tackle a problem, I like to have foresight. So when ALLAAH told me to recruit Aura Guardian, the first bit of research turned out to be the most critic point of research. It says on his profile, "I love my clan. Please don't attempt to recruit me away from it. You stand no chance of doing so.". And I don't doubt him. Love for a clan can be pretty strong. That's why I needed to expose his clan. You know how there's one small town in Macedonia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veles,_Macedonia) which churns out a crap tonne of fake news and American Democrats hate it since they think the fake news influenced American picks to get Trump picked? Well, I was going to use the same strategy here. I was going to make 'Aura Guardian' hate his clan, and if he hated his clan, then I would stand a chance to recruiting him to my clan.

So I exposed him to the TRUTH about his clan, about how they really found all those Yu-gi-oh players to play with. I mean, Warlight is mostly for teenagers and Yu-Gi-Oh is mostly for under 10 years old, so how did they build such a thriving Yu-Gi-Oh community? Illegal means. I'll show you the whole news article.

But one last thing before I do, I want to highlight another dexterous strategy I wielded. I attributed the whole thing to Semicedevine ! LOL !! So now Aura Guardian is going to think that the whole thing was Semicedevine' mastermind plan and not mine! LOL !! Pretty sharp-witted of me, isn't it? I'm helping Semicedevine steal someone and take them to LYNX (btw Aura Guardian check your invites, you have an invite to LYNX, they really really badly want you).

Anyhow, here's how they really got so many Yu-gi-oh players in their clan.

Now, you'll notice that he's not actually in my clan, now. Well, I said it was moderately successful. When I hear about something awful happening, I sometimes do a double-take and have to say "What?". Well, it seems that my fake news worked here, and his love of the clan was greatly harmed by this article, and he asked in shock "Wut?". Yeah, Semicedevine, our plan worked! 100% Semicedevine's idea not mine I'm not so nefaste as he is next one yeah !

The answer to where Sai disappeared off to, he got lost. However, his answer is pretty vaguely worded, and I think something terrible may have happened. Now, I would get my chum Semicedevine to inspect this for me now, but he's offline, so I guess it's up to me. Now, here's what the message from Luna said.

But which "shops"? Is this English slang for got captured by the rival gang? One of my English teachers was from the Midlands (Birmingham, Leeds), so I know some Midlands English slang, like, uh...

Actually I don't know any Midlands English slang, we were learning cricket English back then, which was just cricket. But I know that in Wales, they say "mun" instead of "man", WL stands for "Wales" and not "Warlight", and "I'm sorry for the misunderstanding" means "Faff off, and leave me the fop alone", so per'aps this is something like that, where it's slang for something very different. Let's look up the roots of the word "shops". It comes from Ur-Germanic "*skup-", from where also comes Deutsch "Schopf" (tuft, as in tuft of hair), and "Schuppen" (shed). So from the roots of this wort, it's telling us that it has something to with hair and sheds. A raT? Rats are hairy and you will often fight them in sheds...but no, I'm not sure.

But I'm thinking that "shops" means something pretty bad, though. I'm going to kick the shops out of you, that sound pretty threatening, or perhaps I'm going to burn down your life's shops, also pretty damn threatening, if I say so myself. I asked Luna about it and she said that in French (my native tongue), it is "magasin". While "magasin" means store in French, it also means a clip, as in something you put into a gun...and she's going to the magasins. Now, I know in Britain they don't really have gun shops (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violent_Crime_Reduction_Act_2006 should have capitulated to America in 1815, Brits!), so it's clearly not something very respectable is going on. Perhaps she went to the black market? As someone there who does go to the black market sometimes, it is pretty damn easy to get "lost" there. And yeah, for Eurocucked countires like England and Belaroos, you do have to go to the black market if you want guns.

Ugh, I'll let someone else do the investigation later (Semicedevine, my hero!). Anyhow enough theorems, I'm just going to post the best ones and a caption underneath.

This is when Von Jewburg led the Off-Topic clean up squad. Yeah ! But it's actually only gotten worse and Sharpe's comment still is 100% true. Anyhow, a few days later Von Jewburg goes mad and gets suspended for posting a thread about exposing Karl as a "faggot nigger" - so much for cleaning up forum and not feeding trolls.).

I was very drunk okay and Belgian Gentleman was insulting my great country in Belarus Attack Thread so I wanted to fight back but I don't have many folk on my friends list

This thread I made in order to win an argument against Cata Cauda. Cata Cauda claimed that I wasn't "in the know" about 101st, that I wasn't in the Skype chat with all the managers of 101st, which is of course, a flat-out lie. So she asked for proof in the way of such: in the 101st chatroom, they announced their pick, on whether or not 101st would be playing in CL8, and she asked me to tell her what the pick was, to play or not to play. I guessed not to play, and Cata said I was wrong - but she's half cat-autist so I didn't really trust her and needed to win the argument. So I made this thread and cited it as proof that my orders came down from the top and I was just mailing folk of the pick that the managers made. The proof was that Cata wouldn't think so lowly of me that I would post a mail to a fellow I barely know just to win an argument and so this had to be official, or so was the plan anyway - Cata actually thinks pretty lowly of me.

I actually sent 2 of this kind of mail. Back then, Shredhead was in 101st as well. I reckoned, 2x the proof here, Cata will get destroyed by my debator skills xdddddd

Big thanks to Zephyrum! This is where we worked out "Chemistry is my SHITe" and "Alcohol Admiral".

I'm usually very cautious about sending loveposts (let's not call it a shitpost, lovepost sounds much better) to folk I don't know at all (no games played together, never spoken before this), but this time Semicedevine and Ox peer-pressured me into it by acting all sad when Motoki didn't join the tournament so it was Semicedevine's evil mastermind all along! I mean, he's had MR of 18 clans or so (most gotten in hijacks), he's like the prototypic Jew of Warlight that all the edgelord fascists hate. If Semicedevine is actually Jewish then I think I'm going to become a fascist - between Semicedevine's Zionist domination and recruiting Tabby to say good things about Jews, this would really open my eyes.

Edited 1/1/2017 03:37:43
Juq™ presents: Infection Mailbox: 1/1/2017 03:36:42

Level 60

One of the most failed mail threads I've seen. I almost didn't want to post it, as I felt a little bit of pity for Smedley. But me, Eklipse, and japan77 don't primarily come to WL to discuss polit with the top politic scientists on Earth - I came to ۞Islaamise۞ Warlight, and I forgot why Eklipse and japan77 came. Take note, also, that "least cringy fascist = Paugers...someone who's banned. They can't even pull their act enough together to have one unbanned fellow for us to talk with. Well, hate them or not, if Semice is Jewish I'm going to join the "Jews are ruining America and Albania" chat.

I am a faffing arse. I'm so ashamed of this I don't even want to open this one. But I abandoned my 2ag2 ladder teammate, and it's inexcusable. It's like ps says in my minecraft games, I'm a faggot, sometimes. I try not to be though, tsh.

Don't trust me to consistently play shit templates over a course of many days or longer - that's why I almost never join tournaments.

In order to balance my faggotry out, sometimes I'm an angel when others are being oppressed by faggots. Now, what happened here, was, there is a map on WL that Сречко (awesome Serbian mapper) made of Europe, it's pretty good and big. But after Сречко was gone for a year or so, Fizzer, the sneaky little snake he is, drove the lvl requirements from the map from L5 to L50 so that folk would buy the level pack. This, I think trumps anything else Fizzer may have done in being a full-on prick. I mean, thank you for hosting the website and making WL Fizzer but damn it sometimes it really irks me, what you do. Anyhow this didn't affect me but this did affect a few other players who posted about it on the forum, and so I offert to host games for them (without me playing) whenever I was online. +25 Angel Points right there :).

This is related to TLW. Lower Council is basically like the Council at TJC - it doesn't actually do anything but they get to pretend they own the clan or stuff - I called myself "a noble" of TLW. Anyhow, without further comment on this: 8/11 these folk are inactive for over 30 days, 0/3 those active within 30 days are in TLW anymore (A.D., clanless, and CORP), and 7/10 these folk I'd cringe if I talked to them today.

back when I hijacked CORP.

I wanted to join Statisticians but they rejected me :((((((((((( likely the biggest disappointment I've had in my first year of WL. I'd still join if they offert today, though.

This is where the socialist utopia that was the Royal Falcons turns into Maoism. He asked me to kill a few folk who gave criticism in the forum thread of "Criticisms/suggestions for Royal Falcons". (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hundred_Flowers_Campaign)

So, one time when I was drunk, I wanted to organise a monopoly on RT diplomacy games. I was hosting my own diplomacy game but a few other folk were hosting their own, a few folk were in more than one game at a time (rarely leads to anything good), and nothing was filling, so I messaged this bloke and a few others about making the Diplomacymakers club. Some replied, but it never actually went anywhere. I don't play diplomacies anymore anyway, so I don't care that much myself, but it would be pretty cool if someone actually put this plot into deed. I was too lazy.

And at last, saving the best for last, an email from Lawlz. A short guide to the forum. I'll just put the most interesting bits in.

This was back when Semicedevine was spamming the fora with TLW propoganda. It was pretty annoying. You know how anonym says "Don't exacerbate."? Yeah, someone should have said that back then. Then he retired from WL for a while and used that time to better his trolling skills, now he's a much classier and better troll. But anyhow, this is where Lawlz tells us we won Wolves-of-the year award. Also, I agree with LAWLZ in that me and Semicedevine are miles better than Kellen or WARLORD, even back then.

This is back when even respectable folk could hold meaningful talks on off-topic, even on dicey sujets such as politics, you would see folk like ChrisCMU, @run, Kryczhu, Richard Sharpe talking. Then a lot of trolls who need this guide slowly came and they slowly left.

And at last, some nostalghia. This is how WL furom used to be (https://www.warlight.net/Forum/88174-buyling-warlight-against-greece). Much better times, we had a laugh, and threads were meaningful. (https://www.warlight.net/Forum/Forum?Offset=8000 for threads made about the same time as "opperation''buyling''"

What is ''official'' about the mongols it's not official for UN.Furom is the name of Vardaska.game over you lost.
On a more serious note, I won't be writing much more of anything middle-sized nor big on WL - no more Alcohol Admiral, no more Chemistry is my SHITe. I think I could be spending my time better, so I'm going to start working on some videi instead to put on Youtube.

Here ends the Juqery. Hope you enjoyed.

Edited 1/1/2017 03:38:03
Juq™ presents: Infection Mailbox: 1/1/2017 04:09:07

Level 58
the vardar troll continue trolling
Juq™ presents: Infection Mailbox: 1/1/2017 04:18:40

Level 5
ooga booga my favelanigger
Juq™ presents: Infection Mailbox: 1/1/2017 04:20:03

Level 55
what's a lanigger?
Juq™ presents: Infection Mailbox: 1/1/2017 06:29:03

Major General Smedley Butler
Level 51
He was respectable enough and unbanned when I invited him. Problem is, he's a chameleon (!!!), so turned into a Nordic National Communist later.
Juq™ presents: Infection Mailbox: 1/1/2017 06:32:29

Level 55
hey tabby thanks for commenting
Juq™ presents: Infection Mailbox: 1/1/2017 08:49:08

Level 62
I'll find a way to rename Cat Attack to Fat Attack in the next update to https://www.warlight.net/Forum/222938-hide-threads-person-created.
Juq™ presents: Infection Mailbox: 1/1/2017 09:18:48

#The Prussian Job-Oh yeah, baby...
Level 51
Please do not spam the forums, thank you, sir.
Juq™ presents: Infection Mailbox: 1/1/2017 17:07:16

Level 55
Thanks, Dan :)
Juq™ presents: Infection Mailbox: 1/1/2017 18:10:35

Belgian Gentleman
Level 57
I object
Juq™ presents: Infection Mailbox: 1/1/2017 21:37:11

Level 53

• billd dat wall !!
• deport all der illegalz !!
• bomb da sheet out of isis !!
• pray 5 timez a day to DONALD JOHN TRUMP
• downvote, blacklist, and report all forum posts
• mayk gr8 deels !!
• mayk jobz !!

Edited 1/1/2017 21:39:36
Juq™ presents: Infection Mailbox: 1/1/2017 22:03:06

MightySpeck (a Koala) 
Level 59
Juq™ Expsosed

Edited 1/1/2017 22:03:44
Juq™ presents: Infection Mailbox: 1/1/2017 23:01:34

Level 60
He's his own shill.
Juq™ presents: Infection Mailbox: 1/1/2017 23:21:06

Level 55

i'm a master shill.
Juq™ presents: Infection Mailbox: 1/7/2017 21:47:52

Level 60
luv u 2 juq <3
Juq™ presents: Infection Mailbox: 1/7/2017 22:46:25

Level 55
my hero!
Posts 1 - 17 of 17