I've thought about it (I've been prompted to, let's say this), not killing myself, but about death, the concept and I've two great endsays about it, and they're a little bit self-contradicitng but bear with me.
1: Death is a five-mark word to some, but to the ones who matter, it means bloodshed. I never have killed anybody, nor plan to, so I'm probably not the best one to talk about this, but if you kill someone with your bare hands, choke them, you'll definitely think more gravely of death. It's been said that if every politician went to the frontlines of each war they mongered, there'd be loads less wars. Now, I've done it in my dreams, killed someone I know, and it greatly scared me. The power of wringing a life out, to end someone's timeline, maybe I'm being a bit poetic here, but it's all true and how I think of it. To violently kill, it is no light undertaking, and I'd say only torture would be worse.
Now, one problem is that it's sometimes unfathomable. Stalin once said "One death is a tragedy. One thousand is a stat.". It's very true, advertising for charities usually don't advertise that X children are clinically underfed, they show a photograph of a starving child. Try to keep it all in. Imagine the sorrow someone feels, the tears, of one fellow killed in a shooting, just one. It's just terrible, and it's something noone should wish upon another.
Now try to fathom the 2 000 folk dying on September 11, 2001. The awful, filthy death came for them and took them away in one day. It's just impossible to fathom the load of sadness here, but let me try to help you fathom it. The colossal, mammoth, pointless deaths, the fear, the sorrow.
Now try to fathom the death tally of wars. For every American killed on that fateful day, 250 folk in Iraq died. They were fed to Hades in a pointless, bloody war, swallowed up by the most evil misdeed a government can do: war. I'm just speechless, how something so terrible is so accepted.
What I mean by that. In America, and other countries, foreign policy is not the top priority, and for the other countries that aren't in wars, that's more or less ok. But imagine if, let's say in a mad world, Bernie Sanders bans atheists and Muslims from being president. No excuse to support Clinton and Trump, who favour more bloodshed and involvement, but unluckily, Sanders would lose quite a bit of support over this issue, which is NOWHERE NEAR the weight of one single death. Imagine if Sanders was for taking away 100% the money of the top 10%. NOWHERE NEAR the weight of one single death.
DEATH is far graver than any issue in polit. Frankly, if the candidate is a racist convicted drug addict who promises he'll embezzle all the taxes, that's still no excuse to vote for the candidate that would kill a single fellow. FULLY NOT. Killing someone against their will is never excusable nor should it be wantned - as someone great before me said "It's important to think of every war, no matter how justified, as a terrible crime.". Don't care about social or economic issues - think of by far your priority being DEATH tally.
2: Death isn't so bad. It is, but not for the fellow dying. I personally wouldn't care if I was shot in the head in a nighttime murder, a sleep without waking up, but I fear for what those who love me, how they'd feel. Sorrow would cover them, they would be so sad, and that I can't stand. Now, why I don't fear death myself - I just believe that you're only sad that you've lost something if you've realised you've lost it. If you've lost a book, but never read it and never realised you lost it, then it doesn't matter that you've lost it to you. And in death, you can't fathom or imagine or think at all - your brain stops. You won't understand that you've lost anything.
However, the loss felt by others, and the pain while dying, and the blood - all of this still by far makes death something that should never be done on purpose - to kill, this is sin.
Sorry for disorganised thoughts, just felt like writing a few points that need to be heard.