Q: Why should Creationism be taught in schools?
A: Because it leaves less time to teach Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer
Q: What do Republicans and porn stars have in common?
A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.
Q: How do you fight the war on terror?
A: By belittling our long-time allies, then demanding their cooperation and money
Q: Why is it bad when the Republicans control the House, the Senate, Supreme Court, the White House?
A: Because they only have themselves to blame
Q: Is lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die an impeachable offense?
A: Nooooo!!!!.....But lying about an extramarital affair is!
Q: What does "Standing Tall for America" mean?
A: Firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.
Q: There is a Red House on the right and blue house on the left where is the White House?
A: in Washington DC
Q: How do you know you're a Democrat?
A1: You think poverty can be abolished.
A2: You admire the Swedish welfare system
A3: After looking at your pay stub you can still say, "America is undertaxed."
Member of Clinton's Cabinet: "Hurry up Mr. Clinton, we are about to have a huge meeting on foreign policy with hundreds of world leaders!"
Clinton: "Hold on a second, let me finish having sex with someone whose not my wife"
Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?
Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
Jeb Bush: "My brother kept us safe".
Donald Trump: "Yeah, from 9/11, Katrina, the Great Recession, and thousands of amputations from IEDs after illegally invading Iraq without an exit strategy."
Donald Trump doesn't believe in gay marriage, he believes marriage is about a rich guy marrying a much younger model.
Trump hates illegals, Carson hates Muslims, Fiorina hates women, Huckabee hates gays, and Jeb hates questions about his idiot brother.