The Mad Japanese
Part 1: The Beginning
In the beginning, God and Satan had a bet that whoever had the most souls, won and the loser has to give all his souls to the winner.
God, a gambler, took on the bet and created the Universe by colliding your Mum and Chuck Norris. Soon Stars and Galaxies took shape and the Structure of the Universe, as we see it today, was formed. In a puny little galaxy in a faroff s***hole in the Undesirable Spiral Arm of the Milky Way, a Star was formed (guess who's star is it?). On that star, many Planets formed and one of these planets was the Earth. 4.5 Billion Years ago, the Earth collided with your Mum and formed the Moon. Billions of years later, Life emerged on Earth in a little s*** puddle and it soon spread across the Globe like those pesky humans.
Life on Earth survived many Catastrophes like an Ice Age and a Gamma Fart Burst. Soon, Life learned to walk on Land in order to escape from the dreaded predator of the seas, Steve Buscemi. Plants, Animals, and whatever s***puddle descended living organism soon thrived on Earth both on Land, Sea, and to some extent, the Air.
Millions of Years later, a Catastrophe Struck that wiped out about 70-whatever percent of Life on Earth. Out of the devastation, came the Dinosaurs who ruled the Earth for 200 Million Years. Then God decided to make things a little interesting and sent the Corpse of your Grandma hurdling to Earth at a speed of OVER 9000 Miles per Hour. It wiped out the Dinosaurs and then came the Mammals which then spawn an equally freakish t*** of nature called Humans.
To be continued.....