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Joker's Dating Service: 6/1/2013 13:42:30


Joker
Level 1
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Ask me questions about dating and I'll help you.

FAQs:

Q: I'm ugly, fat, and not intelligent or rich. What should I do to find love?
A: Buy a dog.

Q: My gf is not satisfied sexually no matter how hard I try. What can I do?
A: Let myhandisonfire have a go with her to see what she likes. Then he'll tell you what to do.

Q: Is it ok that I spend more time on porn sites than communicating with women in real life?
A: No. You are perverted. Seek help. And sell your dog.

Q: Is it ok that I get sexually aroused when playing strat 1v1s?
A: It is a perfectly common occurance here. But normal individuals would not.

Q: Is it ok if I get so sexually aroused on dates I am unable to stand up after the meal?
A: Try to think about sad and disgusting thoughts instead.
Joker's Dating Service: 6/1/2013 14:13:22


professor dead piggy 
Level 59
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Q: My boyfriend gets nosebleeds when we're having sex. He wants to carry on but I want him to stop. How do I make him stop? Oh God make him stop...
Joker's Dating Service: 6/1/2013 14:17:02


Joker
Level 1
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A: Pinch the soft flesh between his crack and his sack with a needlenose pliers. Then twist it and pull. He should stop.
Joker's Dating Service: 6/1/2013 14:20:53


myhandisonfire 
Level 54
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hahaha
Joker's Dating Service: 6/1/2013 14:30:01


myhandisonfire 
Level 54
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Q: I am playing poker and occasionally there are two sweet girls coming to play as well. They are best friends and seem to like me. How can I chase two rabbits without losing them both?
Joker's Dating Service: 6/1/2013 18:06:54


[WM] Anonymous 
Level 52
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A: stating that you are gay.
Joker's Dating Service: 6/1/2013 23:43:58

Seahawks 
Level 51
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... and joker is anonymous, how long till fizzer bans the account?
Joker's Dating Service: 6/2/2013 00:33:27


Joker
Level 1
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A: Pick one (carefully). Keep being sweet and spicy with the other. Then, when you gain the trust of the first, begin to broach the subject (in broad terms). Once she's game, bring up the specific possibility of the threesome being with rabitt #2.
Joker's Dating Service: 6/2/2013 02:32:01

Jehovah 
Level 58
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GUI.
Joker's Dating Service: 6/2/2013 12:39:08


Aranka 
Level 43
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Instead of banning Joker's account, can't he just ban this thread ?

Joker's Dating Service: 6/2/2013 12:43:08


SevenDeadlySins*Lust*
Level 10
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What is sexist about this thread?
Next you will tell us prostate screening is sexist, cause women can not participate.
Joker's Dating Service: 6/2/2013 12:48:15


Aranka 
Level 43
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Joker's Dating Service: 6/2/2013 12:54:34


SevenDeadlySins*Lust*
Level 10
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aranka you remind me of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg
Joker's Dating Service: 6/2/2013 13:13:10


Joker
Level 1
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Aranka, I interpret your passive-aggressiveness as sexual desire and your flourish of activity as a measure of the degree of that desire.

A: Just be sincere to your true feelings about me. Don't hesistate to seek love. Denial only makes things more painful. Seize the moment of your splendid youthful beauty, for it is like a flower blooming that, come winter, will wilt and fade. Wherever you go, I'll be right here waiting for you.
Joker's Dating Service: 6/2/2013 13:32:45

Jehovah 
Level 58
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i heard someone summon me, what do you want?
Joker's Dating Service: 6/2/2013 14:01:53


Joker
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A: "Come winter" is not a command for you to "come." It appears you want to give equal weight to this double-entendre rather than seek the direct contextual meaning above. To assist you, I suggest you review Freud's stages of psychosexual development: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychosexual_development.

After consulting with X the resident psychoanalist, I can give you a diagnosis in layman's terms. Your half dozen accounts, phallus obsessive screen names (dicklover), dressing in female clothing (impersonating winter, a girl), stalking of certain sexually explicit players (ironheart, aka black mamba, whose name as a freudian slip is iron hard), and your passive-aggressive libido all palpable. You have an anal fixation due to an unbalanced or unhealthy exploration and development at a young age. This could manifest itself in sexually irrational behavior (screaming "GUI") and an anal retentive desire for attention from male authority figures (how you skirt the rules to subconsciously seek fizzer's attention, in an obliquely S&M manner). X's advice: keep your fingers out of your black hole for a while and seek professional help.
Joker's Dating Service: 6/2/2013 14:52:36


Aranka 
Level 43
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Joker's Dating Service: 6/2/2013 15:19:01


Joker
Level 1
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I'll take George's inquisitive look as a question.

A: Yes, that is the proper hand position.

(Women have been the bedrock of familial and public education. Crazy women --> Crazy girls and stupid boys.)
Joker's Dating Service: 6/2/2013 15:31:10


myhandisonfire 
Level 54
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Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little.
- Samuel Johnson
Joker's Dating Service: 6/2/2013 15:54:01

Seahawks 
Level 51
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Joker's Dating Service: 6/2/2013 16:01:42


Joker
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A: That is a bad attitude to have when dealing with a woman. She will be able to sense to condescension with her greater powers of EQ. When dating it is wiser to be humbler and more sincere. (Unless she is easy and/or gives you clear signals she would be for you, in which case you go into caveman mode with the intent if doing the nasty.)
Joker's Dating Service: 6/2/2013 18:05:49


x 
Level 58
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Q: What's the smartest thing that ever came out of a woman's mouth?
Joker's Dating Service: 6/2/2013 18:18:53


x 
Level 58
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While we wait for Joker's hilarious answer (which I very unselfishly set him up for), let's all enjoy this tumblr: http://okcebooks.tumblr.com/

The warlight bros giving advice on women and the pick-up artists seem very similar to me. I checked out some PUA forum and it was creepy as fuck. It's like infomericals for misogyny.
Joker's Dating Service: 6/2/2013 23:51:40


SevenDeadlySins*Lust*
Level 10
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are you the "woman" or are you one of the guys?
in any case they are a boring read.

just a last question, whats your favorite position to be f***ed in?
Joker's Dating Service: 6/3/2013 12:04:17


Aranka 
Level 43
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just a last question, whats your favorite position to be f***ed in?


What's yours ??
Joker's Dating Service: 6/3/2013 12:04:59


[WM] Gnuffone 
Level 60
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i think he like ALL position. XD
Joker's Dating Service: 6/3/2013 12:10:26


x 
Level 58
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just a last question, whats your favorite position to be f***ed in?


I'm not picky, I'm just grateful when it happens. (I assume you're talking to me, it's pretty ambiguous though.
Joker's Dating Service: 6/3/2013 12:13:15


Aranka 
Level 43
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So he's more of a receiver ? :P
Joker's Dating Service: 6/3/2013 13:12:32


myhandisonfire 
Level 54
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Aranka. There is always the option of a strap on. You should know best. One more than one occassion i met a girl wishing to do exactly that. Until now, I always respectfully declined, despite their sweetness.

I didnt want this thread to go that way when i wrote it, so I will come around with another question.

Q: If i would be aroused by a sexy girl shaving a swastika in her pubic hair for me, would that make me a cryptofascist?
Joker's Dating Service: 6/3/2013 13:23:49


professor dead piggy 
Level 59
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Of course not, what a boring question.

Q: I want to have sex with a girl who isnt my gf and for my gf to be okay with it. Do I have any options besides a threesome?
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