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Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 14:26:20


x 
Level 58
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Yes, it's everybody's favourite thread format! With your forum fave, Ozymandias Melancholia (or x to the people still living in 2011).

Here's how it works this time: you post me your game links, alongside the question "What is wrong with me?", and I will psychoanalyse you to the best of my ability, based on the game. Or if you like, I will analyse another player (alter the question accordingly).



For instance: http://warlight.net/MultiPlayer?GameID=3627766

Case #1: B. Walsh ... no, that's too obvious ... Billy W.

This sorry individual is one of the most maladjusted cases I've ever encountered in my two-and-a-half minutes of amateur forum psychology. His inability to give up what is lost demonstrates a crippling fear of death, like a person who cannot bear to let go of the posessions of the deceased. Most likely he also finds it difficult to dispose of excrement, and retains it in labelled jars.

His irrepressible desire to be booted is an adjunct of his masochism. I have decided to withold from him the satisfaction he would derive therefrom. Forcing the unwilling to acquiesce and to participate in this sexually charged act is a part of his sick game. I predict that my patient will become aggravated by the deprivation of pleasure and frustrated by the inability to bend me according to his will. It is possible that he will attack me verbally, and maybe even attempt to boot me, in order to regain control over the situation.
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 14:35:40


{rp} Julius Caesar 
Level 46
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question, what is wrong with you?
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 14:37:38


x 
Level 58
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Why do you say that there is something wrong with me?
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 14:40:18


{rp} Julius Caesar 
Level 46
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other than the fact that you put a huge picture right in the middle of the post?
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 14:40:43


x 
Level 58
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How does it make you feel when I do that?
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 14:43:52


{rp} Julius Caesar 
Level 46
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better than you
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 14:45:16


The Defiler 
Level 54
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Gyah, these are so stupid. I hope Fizzer bans from Warlight the next player to create one of these.
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 14:48:09


Moros 
Level 50
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Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 14:55:32


SevenDeadlySins*Sloth*
Level 1
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My image is hot. I was about to masturbate. But I am too lazy. What is wrong with me?
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 14:55:57


professor dead piggy 
Level 59
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@Moros: Surely that's too easy, the map is a massive penis that you have set out to conquer...
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 15:00:56


x 
Level 58
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I think we've come as far as we can, Hell bender. I will speak with your parents tomorrow about referring you to a child psychologist. They have a better understanding of minds as undeveloped as yours.



Hello Platypus, it's good that you've joined us. I was worried that you wouldn't attend. I think that if you want to be helped as much as I want to help you, we can make a lot of progress.

Let's begin with this fun game! Just look at the above picture and tell me what you see.
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 15:01:44


SevenDeadlySins*Sloth*
Level 1
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IDoes Sze have a phallus obsession? If being the best was rewarded with the rank of 0 (the shape of a vagina) instead of a 1 (the shape of a penis), would Sze strive so hard (Freudian slip?) to reach 1 (double entendre?)?
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 15:10:10

Darth Mylor {Warlighter}
Level 13
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for a second i thought this was yet another troll who decided to make this to capitalise on the "ask___" threads, but then i realised this is just x under a different name, so im not surprised.
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 15:13:37


{rp} Julius Caesar 
Level 46
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ha
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 15:17:09


SevenDeadlySins*Sloth*
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For a second I thought. Then my head hurt when I realized that I am just another troll. So I stopped and instead focused my attention on the two naked black ladies above wearing strap-ons while their breasts bubble with red juice of passion.
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 15:30:59


x 
Level 58
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Case #2: Medium Hans

This adolescent patient's fear of intimacy drives him to isolate himself from his friends and enemies alike. In a story he related to me, Hans seperates himself by a body of water before tentatively reaching out towards his peers. However, his fear of intimacy is deep, and is not conquered. It manifests itself when he lashes out at another, afraid that the same will be done to him.

This product of the patient's terror produces an effect contrary to his greatest desire, a lasting relationship. He experiences a retaliation to his aggression, and thus feels further alienated from society.

If somebody attacks you without reason, please try to react with understanding and compassion. The player may be psychologically damaged and will be reassured by friendly treatment rather than an aggressive response.

I believe that a combination of cognitive behavioural therapy and medical marijuana will achieve significant results with Hans. If CBT is ineffective, further psychoanalysis may help him deal with his issues, which likely originate with his parent's treament of him as a child. Most commonly with cases like this, the parents did not want a child, and their nonchalant treatment leaves the child incapable of establishing real connections with others.

Case #3: Dead Piggy

The subject's latent homosexuality has resulted in a powerful neurosis which leads to his perception of male sexual organs where none are commonly observed. For instance, in the map of Italy, which to most people resembles a boot.

He projects his obsession with the penis onto others, which has led to a number of embarassing social situations, where he has unwittingly revealed his real orientation.
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 15:37:29


[WG] Warlightvet 
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Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 15:46:17


x 
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Case #4: Sloth

I have yet to discover the precise details, but this patient is some kind of sexual deviant. He makes unremitting and evocative sexual comments in a desperate attempt to appear normal, but it is evident that he is overcompensating for his intrinsic sexual otherness. He insinuates that others have questionable sexualities in order to distract attention from himself.

He indicates anhedonia vis-a-vis his sexuality, which might lead a less experienced psychoanalyst to diagnose asexuality, but he would not make it so obvious. Perhaps this ennui is also resultant from his societal stigma.
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 16:05:32


x 
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for a second i thought this was yet another troll who decided to make this to capitalise on the "ask___" threads, but then i realised this is just x under a different name, so im not surprised.


How did it make you feel when you thought there was another troll on the forum?




Case #5: Pierre

The subject is a textbook case of fear of success, or 'Jonah Complex' as Dr. Wikipedia Redirect terms it. He gets a member of the opposite sex in an uncompromising position, but fails to pull the trigger.

Pierre has a recessive id. He is over-concerned about the feelings of others in a conceited urge to be a 'good guy'. Even though he revealed, in their chat, that the girl would have enjoyed being dominated, he still demurs. As such, both are left unsatisfied. Pierre must understand that a denial of base desires, which we all share, makes one appear phony and inhuman.
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 16:18:38

[x] rosston
Level 3
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At home we have this thought: 12 year old children should not play doctor spouting out nonsense which they think has value, they should focus on their, in your case plethora, issues, first.

How do you feel about this?

------

One day you are insulting the dead the next you are playing doctor, God help us all.

We think you should retire this game, and be humble. Saying someone has a "weak" is not something a doctor would say.
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 16:25:16


x 
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I admit my methods are unusual, and that my degree is from an uncredited school (The Western Maine Institute of Mixology and Also Psychology), but I get results, dammit!

And I never said someone had a "weak", in fact I don't think anyone can possess any adjective.
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 20:40:31


x 
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Billy W. experiment: after 4 and a half hours I have documented no response from the subject.

As you were.
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 20:50:47


{rp} Julius Caesar 
Level 46
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i have a question for you x- how did you get the circle thing in you name?
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 20:53:57


Accept my Surrender
Level 10
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What is wrong with me? I enjoy to cut down tree after tree each afternoon till the forest is completely clear. Next, I gain a strange sexual love for the trees and begin to weep at their deaths. Finally, I get a container of gasoline and pour it on the trees and light them up. Why do I destroy trees when I love them so dearly?
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 21:31:01


x 
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What's wrong with the both of you is your inability to read the third sentence in this thread.
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/27/2012 22:06:51


Accept my Surrender
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So I am illiterate! Your a genius! I knew it!
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/28/2012 00:47:04


x 
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Billy W. experiment results: one of my predictions was correct, he committed and then booted me 5 minutes later.

Later, on the forum, he was aggrieved to find out that I was the one he booted (my change of username confounded him). Evidently the anonymity is integral to his arousal.
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/28/2012 18:21:26


x 
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I WILL KILL A PUPPY AN HOUR UNTIL SOMEONE TELLS ME ABOUT THEIR MOTHER



seriously guys just put a game link and say the line

dont make me kill these puppies because i will
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/28/2012 19:42:52


x 
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YOU MADE ME DO THIS
Ask Ozymandias Melancholia: 12/28/2012 22:19:30


x 
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WHY
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