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Warlight Koans: 1/5/2014 13:41:10


x 
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Turn off your mind, relax and scroll down. This is not dying. Oh, your mind was turned off already? Good, good.



































A noob asked Myhandisonfire, "How many armies are lost when you invade a territory of 0?" Myhandisonfire replied: "Uservoice."



A noob asked Master x: "What were the secrets of Szeweningen's legendary 3v3 Europe guide?" Master replied: "Select at least 4 territories. It is recommended you pick double this number." The noob then said, "Is that all I need to understand?" Master replied: "If that isn't enough, then you'll need to see the mythical Anti-x Capybara."



When you invade a territory, the territory also invades you.



One day, while typing on his laptop, Master x wrote: "If you meet Gui, kill him." Lolowut replied: "Is this a koan?"



Myhandisonfire asked Heyheuhei, "Without thinking of attack-only or transfer-only, what did your clan symbol look like before Gui invited you to [20]?"



Attack and transfer arrows each have a different colour. What is the colour of the arrow when you treat enemies as teammates?



Szeweningen asked Master x: "Is random move order cyclic?" Master asked Szeweningen: "Is cyclic move order random?"



Myhandisonfire joined an open seat in a game with Beelzebub. Looking on Beelzebub's profile, he noticed that Beelzebub had played in many more games than he had. Admiringly, he asked: "How many seats have you closed?" Beelzebub said: "The order priority card."



A noob asked Gui to teach him. Gui asked, "Have you made your orders?" The noob replied, "Yes, I have." "Then commit them", said Gui. At that moment, the noob was enlightened.



"Manual distribution is automatic," thought the AI.
Warlight Koans: 1/5/2014 13:45:31


[WM] ᵀᴴᴱ𝓕𝓻𝓲𝓭𝓰𝓮 
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Oh no! the koans from [20] forum have shuttered the seven seals, got out and infested the public forums!

Run, Run! you will not hide...
Warlight Koans: 1/5/2014 15:26:20

Jehovah 
Level 58
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Run, Run! you will not hide...


whats the point of running i cant hide?

errrr....

whats the point of hiding if i cant run?
Warlight Koans: 1/5/2014 15:30:18


TheWarlightMaster 
Level 59
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Lol x you're awesome
Warlight Koans: 1/5/2014 21:48:27


x 
Level 58
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Yeah it got no response on the [20] forum. Even though I was pandering to Gui and Myhand with the eastern whatever. And I thought it would be perverse to withhold it from everybody else.

So did I blow anybody's mind?
Warlight Koans: 1/5/2014 23:45:05


Daisuke Jigen
Level 56
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I like the one with the AI.
Warlight Koans: 1/6/2014 01:11:28


Pushover 
Level 59
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Pretty sure my mind imploded. Though that could be the booze talkin'.
Warlight Koans: 1/6/2014 04:24:25


professor dead piggy 
Level 59
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OC this good is no longer appropriate for the WL forums.

Opened with your second best joke and ended with your best. Fantastic form.

Edited 1/6/2014 05:00:54
Warlight Koans: 1/6/2014 09:51:08


[WM] ᵀᴴᴱ𝓕𝓻𝓲𝓭𝓰𝓮 
Level 59
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Pushover - that's called enlightment. congrats. Isn't it the very purpose of a koan?
Warlight Koans: 1/6/2014 15:35:17


x 
Level 58
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piggy, i think you'll find that they were all equally perfect.
Warlight Koans: 1/6/2014 16:13:52


myhandisonfire 
Level 54
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in all honesty, i showed them to my brother and he laughed at every single one of them.
I personally love the Gui enlightenment one.
Warlight Koans: 1/6/2014 19:55:43


professor dead piggy 
Level 59
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Your brother sounds cooler than you.

'Jus sayin'
Warlight Koans: 1/6/2014 21:30:42


x 
Level 58
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If by "laughed" you meant "each one threw him further into a deep and serene rumination" then my work here is done. And your sentence is a confusing mish-mash.

pushover, sober up and we'll enlighten you in the morning.
Warlight Koans: 1/7/2014 06:16:10


Taishō 
Level 57
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Professor X - the father of WarLight philosophy
Warlight Koans: 1/7/2014 07:57:41


myhandisonfire 
Level 54
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No, he just laughed for a second and then moved on to something more important and captivating than warlight.
I think it was chopping vegetables for a sandwich.

P.S.: For sure he is piggy. Way cooler than you too, allthough that is less of a difficulty. 'jus sayin'
Warlight Koans: 1/7/2014 08:40:30


professor dead piggy 
Level 59
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Warlight Koans: 1/7/2014 09:09:37

Qi 
Level 55
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X, more Koans! The people are craving for more!

Dead piggy and myhand specifically asked for a koanic dialogue in which their deep, secret friendship can be made public.
Warlight Koans: 1/7/2014 10:43:43


professor dead piggy 
Level 59
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When you take a turn do not play cards, make deployments and order attacks but just take a turn. To play cards, make deployments and order attacks is to play cards, make deployments and order attacks - it is not yet taking a turn.

Edited 1/7/2014 10:49:24
Warlight Koans: 1/7/2014 10:47:43


professor dead piggy 
Level 59
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A wasteland is like a politician in its duality. It represents two opposing viewpoints. You see, it was designed to defend against attacking armies. So it exists to be attacked. But it was also designed to be avoided. So it also exists to not have armies attack it.

Edited 1/7/2014 11:01:33
Warlight Koans: 1/7/2014 11:20:47


professor dead piggy 
Level 59
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I'd love to show you something
but what would help?

Edited 1/7/2014 11:21:12
Warlight Koans: 1/7/2014 17:42:03


x 
Level 58
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Across the rocky, unforgiving terrain of suburban England, a noob travelled many fathoms and for many weeks to track down the residence of Master Skunk, renowned for his map-making ability. Upon finding Skunk, he prostrated himself before him and begged: "Master, please educate me in the ways of map making, make me your student and teach me everything you know."

Master gazed silently across the cul-de-sac to the Aldi beyond. Finally, he replied: "Return to me with the designs for a map with two territories and four bonuses."





A noob asked Master Piggy: "What is the route to enlightenment?" Master replied: "A ladder with 892 rungs."

Edited 1/7/2014 18:18:58
Warlight Koans: 1/7/2014 17:57:31


x 
Level 58
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it is easier to thread a camel through the eye of a needle than it is for a level 51+ player to achieve englightenment
Warlight Koans: 1/7/2014 18:31:43


x 
Level 58
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I'm writing a screenplay based on this thread. It's called Season I, Season II, Season III, Season IV ... And Season I.
Warlight Koans: 1/8/2014 03:12:01


x 
Level 58
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And suddenly I'm skimming koans so that I can write new ones for this thread. How the fuck did this happen. What is wrong with me.
Warlight Koans: 1/9/2014 04:36:08


The Great Pulsius 
Level 57
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Dead piggy asked, "How many virgins to change a light bulb?" Anonymous answered, "I do it with myhand." Dead piggy replied, "You always do it with yourhand."

Edited 1/9/2014 04:45:52
Warlight Koans: 1/10/2014 16:49:20


x 
Level 58
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there's a difference between koans and one-liners. shake my head
Warlight Koans: 1/10/2014 21:16:17


The Great Pulsius 
Level 57
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And Pulsius was enlightened.

Edited 1/10/2014 21:21:17
Warlight Koans: 2/9/2014 03:59:08


Taishō 
Level 57
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A noob asked Master X, "How do I become the greatest player on WarLight?"

To this X replied, "Start every game as if it was your last, end as if it was your first."




A noob said to Gnuff, "Show me your best game." Gnuff responded, "You won't find a single game that isn't my best."

The noob was englightened.




I'm no X, but the thread is about to die.
Warlight Koans: 2/9/2014 04:12:06

Qi 
Level 55
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A noob asked Gnuzi, "How do I become the greatest player on WarLight?" Master Gnu responded, "Take five steps to a new level. Then change your name to [WM] Gnuffone, and you will be the best."

NoobSchool said to Master Gnu, "Do you have any suggestions about what I could have done better in this game?" Gnuzi replied, "I am the best."
Warlight Koans: 2/9/2014 04:30:25


Taishō 
Level 57
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A noob asked Gui, "How do I stop losing?" He replied, "Stop playing."

The noob was enlightened.
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