|Cheesus' Sermon #5: To our Departed Forumers: 9/22/2016 01:45:01
Cheesus gathered up his followers in the city of Thraeda and said,
"Today we have gathered here to mourn the loss of a follower of me. He was killed when protecting his family from heretics. May he spent an eternity in Heaven, and be judged wisely by our Lord and Flavor".
The followers took the man's body and buried it in the earth, curds to curds, caesin to caesin. Cheesus came upon the dead man, and his tears ran across the dead man. Cheesus wept for so long he would not post for 30 days, and soon his followers became worried.
"We must find ourselves a new savior, for Cheesus hath forsaken us. Let us make a test, to find the true son of GornGodzola".
So the followers cast a baby into a pit, and said "The man who shall rescue this child from the pit will be the true Lord and Flavor."
Soon a man of great strength approached, his hair long and black. He spoke a strange tongue, but he lifted up the child with a single hand.
"Praise be to this man!" shouted the followers, "He is our Lord and Flavor! He shall guide us to the true path!"
And the followers ate and drank for seven days.
Cheesus returned to his followers, finding them celebrating this false messiah. In anger, he drew his bow and shot the man in the view of his followers.
RIP MY NIGGA HARAMBE