Once upon a time, there was a man called Dam Son. All his life, he'd been made fun of for his name. When he went to school for show and tell, the entire class said "Dam Son, where'd you find this?".
When we got conscripted and sent to Vietnam, his entire company laughed when he found a Vietnamese hideout, saying "Dam Son, where'd you find this?" Then they all got shot in the head, except for Dam Son, because he hid in a bush.
When he was on the altar with Kate Upton, the entire congregation said "Dam Son, where'd you find her?". And then they all got shot in the head, and the chest, except Dam Son, who hid behind the lectern.
Dam Son went into his job at a health insurance office, and everyone said "Dam Son, where'd you find that plane?" Then the building got hit with a plane and eve.ryone burned to death because they couldn't find the stairs. Dam Son took them.
Dam Son decided to retire after that. He went to the retirement village, and bought a small unit there. He walked up onto the stage to introduce himself to the other retirees. They had recently started watching MLG videos, but one person forgot their headphones, and the laptop blared out, as loud as possible, "DAM SON, WHERE'D YOU FIND THIS?". Then the retirement village got taken hostage, and everyone died in excruiciating pain, which made having your face crushed by the Mountain look like a walk in the park with a Pomeranian. Dam Son survived because he hid under the stage.
Dam Son decided "F*** it." He grabbed a knife, and stabbed himself in the chest. As he fell, a man ran in "Dam Son, you won the lottery. You won 500 million dollars!".