...but you have an even lower I.Q. and are even lazier

Ability to compel Player25253 to prove he can say: Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg

He will say it until the end of time.

The ability to become dictator of the US without pushback.

...but then you realize too late that you actually just took control of a massive debt-ridden bureaucracy and don't really have the ability to fix it.

Ability to add an "e" to the end of Georg's name

I disintegrate.

The ability to create world peace for the next 10,000 years.

War for the next 20,000 years after that
Ability to cancel out one of any superpower's side effects

1. You get 2 side effects
2. This forum breaks because you had to have 2 side effects

The ability to take everything from the store and not have to pay

You become a disgusting hoarder and get immensely depressed because no wants to do shit with you, or even know who you are because you smell like shit, your house is full of shit, your car is full of shit, your yard is full of shit, and your shit is full of shit, as well as invading the neighborhood with the smell of shit, to the point where the city had to shut down your neighborhood and seize your property because it was a health and safety violation, as well as being incredibly toxic, but rather than quit your hoarding, you do the same in your new house and the cycle continues....

The ability to be perfect.

You are worshiped as a god, and no one is willing to speak to you out of fear.

The ability to change the basics of reality.

(The last side-effect sounds pretty good to be honest)

...but only in your mind, so you probably get thrown into a mental institution.

Ability to notice that we've gone almost a week without a shitpost from Hi

You jinx it and Hi shitposts.

The ability to fix the world.

But it can only be done in your dreams

The ability to not have any side effects

Side effect: This ability only applies to the forum, and therefore it is not a superpower.
Having another personality

Your other personality is a psychotic maniacal murderer and will take over your body at unexpected times.

The ability to teleport into and out of books and TV when I want.

Teleporting into those things means that you physically enter the objects

Making my windows made of water but they still act like windows

...but you forget it and fall out the window on a regular basis

Ability to make perfect toast

But it reverts back to normal bread after 10 seconds.

I can learn anything, instantly.

But for every bit of knowledge you take in you forget 3 bits you already knew

Power to eat like 90 waffles in one sitting

Edited 2/1/2021 23:42:37

The one sitting is for the rest of your life.

The ability to manipulate electromagnetic energy.

But only in ways that cause you harm

The ability to change the city that major world landmarks are in

...but it makes pigeons uncomfortably attracted to you

The ability to pronounce Liech's name