aw thanks guys this bump means a lot to me.

A noob asked Master Lolowut, "What are the secrets of Warlight?" He replied, "Lolowut vs Traintown"

The noob was enlightened.

looks like everyone joined my clan on this thread

19 posts were made without mention of Aranka. ps replied: "YAAT". At what point did the thread become YAAT?


Mumon's comment: Heavy is the precarious insect which stands on itself. The limb bends back so far that it has not moved an inch.

Yet another Aranka thread.
Another thread, yet Aranka.
Splitting the atom,
Create your known reality.

a noob asked ps: "How come every thread gets so much response here?"
ps replied: "I miss Aranka"

the noob was enlightened




\/ the one below's not a koan :(

Edited 2/23/2014 17:46:24

A noob asked Sensei Cultist "How do I stop losing and start winning games?". Sensei Cultist replied, "O sinful man! Why do you seek earthly victory, when you could have eternal victory over your soul? Join the Illuminati, sing songs of praise to them, and...you shall be forgiven."

The noob was enlightened.

A Noob asked Master Frank "How are you so good at 2v2?"
Master Frank replied "Trust in Slammy"

The noob was enlightened

A noob asked Gui, "How do I stop losing?" He replied, "Stop playing."

Mumon's comment: Gui's answer is easy to give but hard to take. It will be many years before this noob forgets the concept of losing.

Willing slave
Contract signed, arms shackled.
Stop playing, stop losing.
A victory beyond victory.

A noob asked Gui:"Is everyone you?".
Gui replied:"Who isn't me?"
The noob was enlightened.

A noob asked X:"Why does J Mikkelsen use his real picture?"
X replied:"Because one must not do without his movie star looks".
The noob was enlightened.

Oh gosh suck don't i.

One day Master myhand asked a noob: "why do you post before thinking?" The noob replied: "Lawlz". Master myhand was enlightened.

I don't know what a koan is.
Yet my koans have been accepted as koans.
I am enlightened.

Master Fridge received a noob who came to inquire "What is the path I must follow to create legendary koans?".

Fridge served tea. He poured his visitor's cup full, and then kept on pouring.

The noob watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. "It is overfull. No more will go in!"

"Like this cup," Fridge said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you koans unless you first empty your cup?"

The noob was enlightened.

Edited 2/24/2014 12:20:49

Master Fridge received Master Qi who came to inquire "What is the path that others follow to create legendary koans?"

Fridge served tea. He poured Qi`s cup full, and kept on pouring.

Before the cup was overflowing, Qi lifted it, placed a new empty one under it and took the first one away.

"Like these cups" Qi said, "I might already have opinions and speculations, but I can always learn more, without having to abandon what i previously learned"

Master Fridge was enlightened.

"Fridge, now you have poured away all of your tea and must go thirsty"
Qi sipped, smug as a bug in a rug.

Qi Noob had a dry, itchy scalp from the chemicals in shampoo. He asked Master Google, "Homemade shampoo." Master Google provided infinite possibities. Many said vinegar and baking soda. Qi Noob did not like the idea of having a stinky vinegar head.

Years ago in a Chinese Listening class Qi Noob learned used green tea leaves kill odors. He asked Master Google, "Green tea shampoo." Master Google provided new possibilities. Qi Noob steeped green tea overnight. The next day he washed his hair with it. His scalp was enlightened.

Edited 2/24/2014 13:31:19

"Like these cups" Qi said, "I might already have opinions and speculations

fucking loudmouth know-it-all cups

A noob approached Master X and asked "How do I become famous like Righ the Knight?"

Master X replied "Dedicate your life to nothing and you will absorb the fabric of everything."

The noob mediated on this, but couldn't grasp its meaning so he went back to Master X and said "I have meditated on nothing and still don't understand."

Master X said, "You misunderstood. Try growing a beard and browsing the internet all day, everyday for the rest of your life."

The noob was enlightened.

One day, Master x, in a mood of sublime emptiness, was sitting at his laptop. Gifs began to appear on his screen.

"I am praising you for your forum posts", Dead Piggy messaged him.

"But I have not been posting on the forum", said Master x. And gifs showered upon x like pop-up adverts.